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League ladders – League One 2005-06

Dan Turner reports that although it can be exciting from an outsider looking in, League One hits fans where it hurts most – in the pocket

The Lord of the Rings features a giant spider paralysing Frodo with its venom, trussing him up in a blanket of goo and leaving him slumped on the floor a broken, pallid, blankly staring shell of his former self. That was what watching League One football felt like last season. Shelling out £15 to £20 a game to be bored catatonic stretched even the famous elasticity of patience, pride and pocket of fans at this level. 

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League ladders – The Championship 2005-06

As his team get ready for life in League One, even John Earls can see the attraction of a league as unpredicatable as The Championship

With a fortnight left, everything in this league was already settled – automatic promotion, the play-off entrants and relegation. But this didn’t tell the whole story of a frequently absurd season. Reading were so good, Brighton so bad and everyone else so inconsistent that the other 22 clubs should have been told: “Come back next season and do it properly this time.”

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Tuneless wonders

Music and football get on about as well as the couples that appear on Trisha and, as Taylor Parkes found out, this year's World Cup songs show nothing has changed. Worst of all, England's two 1966 final goalscorers put one in their own net this time

Despite FIFA’s worst efforts, the World Cup remains a commercial free-for-all – professional flagmakers, at least, will drink to that. In the case of World Cup records, this has created a (relative) meritocracy, in the sense that which song is “official” and which isn’t matters not a jot. Who remembers Boom, Anastacia’s official “anthem” of the 2002 World Cup? Or Ricky Martin’s France 98 classic The Cup of Life? England fans have often been unimpressed by officially sanctioned musical product, the exceptions being World In Motion and Three Lions, often choosing homespun rubbish such as Vindaloo or Three Lions retreads over branded nightmares from the Spice Girls, Simply Red or Ant & Dec. Perhaps the FA have just given up, since offering the contract for this year’s England song to never-popular misery-guts Embrace looks very much like a joke. Although, after hearing The World at our Feet, no one’s smiling.

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Erik the grate

The Swedes were proud of Sven and they may be again. But, as Marcus Christenson explains, the fake sheikh has put one love affair on hold – till England win the World Cup

There was a time when Sven-Göran Eriksson could do no wrong in the eyes of the Swedes. His achievements made them immensely proud. Svennis, as they prefer to call him, was proof that a quiet, timid man from Värmland could conquer the football world with traditional Swedish values such as democracy, humility and hard work.

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The yellow peril

Brazil are everyone's second team, we are told. Well, after watching Nike's latest advert, Barney Ronay suddenly feels a lot less goodwill towards a corporate steamroller masquerading as the people's champions

What kind of person could possibly have a problem with the “beautiful game”? The good old joga bonita, with its smiling children, Brazilian superstars, tippety-tappety freestyle moves and remixed samba rhythms. Not to mention an entire range of polyester sportswear and accompanying DVD and soundtrack album. What kind of fiend, what kind of monster, could possibly feel a sense of queasiness at being told by the World Footballer of the Year, a man with a “brand value” of €47 million per annum, that we all need to stop being such corporate dupes and get with the kids on the street who are keeping it real? OK, Ronaldinho, I give in. I’ll take a gross of cap-sleeved soccer shirts and a dozen pairs of Air Zoom 90 boots. Just, please, no more back-flicks.

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