Looking at aspects of maleness and football, Joyce Woolridge explains why the New Lads beloved of the media have little in common with the lads who actually go to watch matches

A few weeks ago at 6am I began a solo train journey from Bristol to Manchester to watch Manchester United lose to Chelsea. I’ve never been to a match alone before, but it happened that this time I was the only one with a ticket. As a solo traveller, I thoroughly expected to observe at first hand some spectacular displays of laddish boorishness, given that football is where the ‘new lads’ are most at home; where they gather to worship the cult of curry, boozing and birds whilst rejecting all standards of decent behaviour. 

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It was an unhappy captaincy debut for Vinnie Jones as Wales are torn apart by a classy Holland. Chris Hall reports from Eindhoven

10:30: While their supporters shake off some well earned hangovers and prepare to catch up on sleep during the one and a half hour journey south from Amsterdam, the Welsh squad stroll purposefully into PSV Eindhoven’s Herdgang training complex. New captain Vinnie Jones is lost in his own thoughts, coming to terms with his surprise elevation from hod carrier to standard bearer. Had the group included some of its missing stars – Giggs, Hughes, Rush, and er, Horne – it’s unlikely they would have created much more than a ripple of mild curiosity apparent in the faces of the onlookers. One of PSV’s many youth teams were waiting to take the field, hoping to impress the ex-internationals who coach them, and the gallery of parents cooing encouragement from the safe confines of the cosy clubhouse. Bobby Gould looks tense and wary, perhaps still clinging to the belief that those absent talents would have made a difference to tonight’s daunting encounter.

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Leyton Orient are in their secon season in the hands of Barry Hearn and the PR hype continues to flow. Tom Davies looks at the substance behind the talk

It was a bizarre experience: in conversation in a Doncaster pub last month before our game at Belle Vue, a Rovers fan announced his opinion that Leyton Orient were one of the “sleeping giants” of the lower divisions. The Os! Imagine! But 18 months on from Barry Hearn’s takeover of the club that is how some people seem to perceive us – a dynamic, well supported, lean, mean ’90s football club.

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Darron Kirkby profiles one of the Hammers' boardroom members

Distinguishing features: Looks like the Fat Controller on Thomas The Tank Engine. 

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Cris Freddi pays tribute to former England international centre forward Tommy Lawton, who died in November

Five foot eleven has got to be a misprint. Reading about the famous ability in the air, you expect something like Niall Quinn but heavier (he looks that big in photos and film clips) and instead you have to adjust to the idea of a white Les Ferdinand, which isn’t exactly the stuff of folklore.

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