The Archive

It's the same old story, and we're getting tired of hearing it

Technology is moving on apace in all directions but not fast enough. Through the summer we scanned the science pages in the hope that during the six-week break between seasons someone might have invented a device that would be of immense value to football supporters everywhere. What is urgently required is a filter for TV sets that could be set up to give the sensitive viewer the option of bleeping out certain phrases when they crop up in a football broadcasts. (Of course there is always the option of watching TV with the sound off and the radio on, but that risks exposure to Alan Green.)

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John Chapman recounts the year Wigan Athletic won promotion via the ballot box

The long-term significance
Before 2004-05, this was the last time Wigan Athletic finished second in their league. Like last season they went up, but on this occasion the champions didn’t. Despite winning their fourth title in six years, Boston United’s ground was failed by the Football League inspectors, just four years after it had hosted Derby County and 11,000 spectators. So Wigan, 12 months after their worst ever season but on the back of a good FA Cup run, got put forward for election to the League. After tying 26 votes all with Southport in the first ballot, they won the second 29-20. They were to be the last side promoted to the league in this way.

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What defines a career, money or medals?

If Rio Ferdinand succeeds in getting his Manchester United salary increased to £120,000 a week, he will receive in a month what someone on the average wage would take 19 years to earn. In recent newspaper reports on his contract negotiations, Rio was depicted wearing a Che Guevara baseball cap, so he may have plans to redistribute his bloated income in a manner befitting someone who identifies with a Marxist revolutionary. But it is none the less fair to assume that he will receive advice to the contrary and that his wages will continue to be spent on fast cars, holidays in exclusive resorts and helping Jody Morris to release fire extinguishers in hotel corridors.

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Ben Lyttleton tells us how Iran forgot their troubles for one glorious night

The celebrations throughout Iran after they beat Bahrain 1-0 last month to become the second team to qualify for the World Cup, one hour after Japan, passed off peacefully in spite of the country’s security forces abandoning their duties and joining fans in the streets.

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Some people are grateful that football pauses briefly in the summer, but not Cameron Carter. Join him on his quest to find meaning to his life on balmy days

Even those among us who are not numerologists can confidently state that years ending in odd numbers are inauspicious. This is because their summers are deserts of non-football. It is barely a month since Liverpool brought last season to a shocking close and already the days, especially the weekends, are feeling pitilessly long. There are three alternatives for the football fan between late May and August in 2005: skirmish like a seagull with a bin liner for any scraps of football-related activity; find another sport to take football’s place temporarily; or – and this is the big one – try to find another form of human activity that can fill up the time.

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