Nigeria's dance of the seven veils with new national coach Bryan Robson should come as no surprise to students of the west African country's football, such as Alan Duncan

Listen to any Nigerian footballer talk for any length of time and you will notice how his every football-ing fantasy peters out with a “God willing”, or an “inshallah”. While it is tempting to read into this no more than a case of fatalism, this idiosyncrasy says much of a lifetime’s experience spent learning not to take anything for granted.

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David Harrison savours Elton John's support for Watford when many clubs don't have the luxury of celebrity backers to help ensure their survival

It happens wherever you go, without fail. Has done for the best part of 30 years. Most recently this summer at a bus stop in California. As soon as the international lang­uage of the tormented traveller has been ex­hausted, there’s an absolute inevitability in the ex­change that follows. “So, you guys are English. Where you from? Sure I’ve heard of it – that’s Elton John’s ball-club!”

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Plenty of clubs are in financial difficulties but only a couple can appeal to recording artists for salvation. Port Vale fan Rob Rushton talks about Robbie Williams's unwillingness to provide financial help to his hometown club

I cannot recall the exact date, but I vividly remember Port Vale playing Watford in Division Three in the mid-1970s, when the Vale fans behind the goal sang: “You can stick your grand piano up you arse,” to Watford chairman Elton John. Either good advice, or pure jealousy – you decide – as Elton’s millions boosted Watford up the league to the First Division.

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Qatar is no longer an explanation for someone gobbing on the pitch: the Premiership has a rival as a home for retiring players, as Daniel Anderson-Ford reports

“Our football league features some of the world’s greatest players, many of them working with some of Europe’s finest coaches, and we hope to com­pete with the best at club and national level.”

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The high number of drug-test failures in Italy compared to England is mainly the result of the seriousness with which the issue is treated there, believes  Gabriele Marcotti

The funny thing about nandrolone is that it has been around for a long time. A team-mate on my university rugby team took it for three years. No, he wasn’t a drugs cheat: as a child, he was frail and underdeveloped, so his doctor put him on a nandrolone course. Whether or not he knew (or cared) at the time that it could reduce his libido, increase his risk of developing tumours and potentially lead to “testicular atrophy” is unclear. Either way, in the 1980s, before serious drug-testing, its use was widespread in a variety of sports, including football. Its benefits – increased concentration, increased aggression, increased lean muscle mass – were seen by some as worth the risk of a couple of shrunken balls.

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