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“He can’t be worse than…” Wayne Biggins

Graham McColl delves into the lowest – and perhaps slowest – point in Celtic's long history

Jock Stein’s first signing for Celtic was Joe McBride, a consummate striker who, in 1966-67, was Scotland’s leading scorer with 35 goals despite missing the second half of the season. In 1980, Billy McNeill gave a debut to a much talked-about goalscorer with the newest of New Wave hairstyles who looked exciting, fresh and eager when first seen warming up on the Celtic Park touchline – Charlie Nicholas.

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“He can’t be worse than…” Dean Peer

John Tandy takes a look at Birmingham's ineffectual midfield linchpin

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. No, OK, it was the worst of times. The Birmingham City chairman Ken Wheldon had just about kept the club in existence after years of financial mismanagement, but he’d done it by cutting every corner known to man: we’re talking amputation here, not chemotherapy.

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“He can’t be worse than…” Andy Rollings

Mansley Allen chronicles Brentford's darkest hours as personified by two players

With the exception of this season and a handful of others, following Brentford for thirty years has pretty much been a matter of perpetual struggle. Two seasons in particular stand out: 1983-84, when we just avoided returning to the basement division we’d left in 1978, and 1992-3, our only season out of the lower two divisions since the invention of skiffle.

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Light relief

Mark Winter announces his appreciation for a lavatory with a view

Canal Street is not a ground that receives many accolades. Prior to Runcorn’s relegation in 1996, it was widely regarded by many pundits as the worst in the Vauxhall Conference. Not being a ground snob myself, this is not a view I share, seldom being aware of my surroundings once the game starts. Yet while Canal Street is surrounded by industrial Cheshire and much carping negativity, nothing has ever been mentioned of Runcorn’s outstanding contribution to stadium architecture – the open plan breeze block toilet.

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Ultra cautious

Simon Evans explains why the bad old days of English football have come to be re-enacted every weekend in stadiums throughout the former Soviet Bloc

Attending a game in Eastern Europe for an English fan is a strangely familiar experience: you could be at an English Third Division match circa 1981 – the crumbling, half-empty terraces, stinking toilets, the alcohol, the drunks and the ‘boys’ staring each other out through fences topped with barbed wire.

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