The Archive

It was a record-breaking day for the home side but not one Grimsby fans would want to remember. Pete Green watched their local rivals deny them the three points desperately needed to help preserve League status

You can tell it’s a Lincolnshire derby day: there are five people in the pub instead of four. Alright, I’m exaggerating a bit, but as local rivalries go Grimsby against Lincoln is a fairly polite and respect­ful one all round. Though knots of giddy schoolboys do their best to keep the police busy, it’s the charity fundraising fixture between fans’ teams that typifies the tone. For most, out here on the far, featureless tangent of the Humber estuary, the football is as distant a distraction as the low tide that recedes a mile from Cleethorpes seafront.

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An ex-Danish international turned Walsall into cup specialists in his one season as manager. Tom Lines recounts the tale

In the summer of 1997 an overweight man in his early 40s walked into the offices of the Tamworth Herald and asked to speak to the sports editor. He claimed to have played in a European Cup final and wanted advice on securing a job in local football. Accustomed to humouring eccentrics with tall tales to tell, the journalist listened patiently before sending him on his way.

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Rob Hughes wonders why so many football-related dramas fail to strike the right tone, especially in their action scenes

Lord knows they’ve tried. Ricky Tomlinson as England manager. Sean Bean tanking around in a Sheffield United strip. Sylvester Stallone between the sticks. Even Adam Faith as pint-sized proprietor of – oh yes – Leicester Forest (from a script by Jackie Collins, no less). All of them as inept, unconvincing and downright embarrassing as each other. So just why is it that films about football never work? Certainly not through lack of an audience. It’s a sport, lest we forget, adored by millions the world over, one with its own in-built dramatic arc. A ready-made fantasy in which slumdogs really can become superstars. Never mind Mike Bassett or Jimmy Grimble. Where’s our Raging Bull, our This Sporting Life? Even a Seabiscuit would do.

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Most of the controversy in the Portuguese season so far has happened on the sidelines. Phil Town reports

It’s been a vintage season for punch-ups in Portuguese football, with tunnels featuring strongly. In October, Benfica’s top-scoring Paraguayan striker Óscar Cardozo and Sporting Braga’s Brazilian defender André Leone were sent off at half time at Braga and subsequently suspended after the referee reported that they had been having a go at each other in the tunnel.

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A big striker who relied on physical presence rather than technical ability never lived up to his early promise. Steve Quick explains

Being hailed as Leicester City’s “next Emile Heskey” does not quite carry the same burden of expectation as those saddled with the tag of France’s “new Zidane”. Expectations were high nonetheless when 21-year-old Trevor Benjamin moved from Division Two Cambridge Utd to Premier League Leicester City in the summer of 2000.

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