The rest of Europe seems to be enjoying the fact that orange will not be the colour at the World Cup. Some Dutch people even agree, says Derek Brookman

In the wake of their team’s defeat at Lansdowne Road and subsequent elimination from next year’s World Cup finals, the Dutch were left to unravel the great mystery: how could such a talented team possibly fail to qualify without even taking the issue to the last round of group matches? Who or what was responsible for killing off their chances? A nation- wide game of Cluedo had begun. 

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Continuing our occasional series on defunct competitions, Lionel Birnie dons his plimsolls and recalls the glory days of the televised indoor tournaments

Despite increasingly sophisticated coaching meth­ods, the humble five-a-side has endured. It is still the traditional way for teams to round off the last training session of the week. But despite its far-reaching popularity, no one would think of organising an indoor  tournament for Premiership clubs. Can you imagine Sir Alex’s face if he was asked by the FA to send David, Roy and Juan Sebastian to the G-Mex the night before a Champions League match?

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Ian Cusack inadvertantly found out where the next generation of Chinese stars is coming from – Slough

Most teachers of English as a foreign language spend the close season working in summer schools, where the work is badly paid and desperately unrewarding. This year, however, I found my dream post. “WANTED!! Exper­ienced teacher with a knowledge of football to teach a party of teenage Chinese student footballers.” A quick email of my CV and a five-minute phone interview got me the job. The place was called Teikyo Women’s College, just outside Slough. On arrival I was introduced to my colleague, who would coach the team while I was employed to teach in the afternoon and show them videos at night.

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Thomas Pinault swapped the French riviera for the joys of Essex. Maison Urwin grilled Colchester's midfield anchor on his unlikely transition

Welcome to England. We are sure you will enjoy your stay. You will find the general public both friendly and hostile. Abuse will be a part of your professional life but will be kept to a minimum in social situations. You may be applauded for your footballing prowess but do not expect this to exempt you from being harangued for your national origins.

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The allocation of tickets has caused more chaos and disruption than anything else, Mark Perryman explains how more needs to be done to ensure that England fans are catered for

The official FA ticket allocation for the match in Germany was around 6,000 seats, but a nightmare ensued for many hundreds who had snapped these places up only to head for Munich with no sign of their tickets. This was the first away match involving the relaunched supporters club, “englandfans”, run by the FA. All members sign an agreement which allows the FA to cross-reference applications against criminal records. This process undoubtedly contributed to the delay in issuing tickets.

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