Double-figure drubbings are out (almost) and shocks are in. Matthew Hall reports on how the Solomon Islands and Vanuatu upset the odds in the South Pacific qualifiers

The cliche says that if it’s 31-0 then this must be the Oceania Football Confederation’s World Cup qual­ifying competition but, thankfully, OFC took heed of record-breaking scores four years ago. A three-phase tournament now saves teams such as American Samoa the embarrassment of massive drubbings against Australia – in 2001, the Samoans actually did watch 31 goals go past their goalkeeper.

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Like Wayne Rooney, Paul Gascoigne once returned home a hero from an international tournament. But his new autobiography offers a stark account of a talent subsequently wasted and personal problems ignored. Harry Pearson describes a troubling read

 The Paul Gascoigne who stares out from the cover of this long-awaited (it was commissioned six years ago) autobiography bears a strong resemblance to fellow Nineties casualty Shaun Ryder. There are other similarities, too: talent, loutish behaviour, wild acclaim, drugs, craziness, rehab and, at the end of it all, a greatest hits package that, however enjoyable, never quite adds up to a career. 

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Mark O'Brien offers an Everton supporter's perspective on England's star performer at Euro 2004 and wonders whether the adoration of a fickle public will hold

During the latest European Champ­ionship two ques­­tions got asked more often than any other. First­ly, why are there so many Port­u­guese people living in Thetford? And secondly, who is going to buy Wayne Rooney?

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Another tournament, another predictable failure. Phil Ball looks at what went wrong for the Spanish this time and wonders whether they will ever find a winning formula

Spain rest in peace, in memoriam. ¡Lo de siempre! (The same as always!) screamed the sports tabloid Marca after the defeat to Portugal condemned them to another early exit. The squad usually packs its bags after the quarter-finals of a major tournament and, being slightly less accustomed to such early exits, the press – reasonably tolerant towards the affable Iñaki Saez for the preparatory weeks – finally showed their true feelings towards the manager the day after the defeat. Spain’s national paranoia traditionally centres on its team’s nervous collapse when the going gets tougher, so no one had really expected them to fail at the first hurdle, particularly in such a comfortable-looking group. 

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In three weeks Greek football went from purgatory to paradise, but Paul Pomonis is not sure whether the euphoria will survive Colin Moynihan being called in for advice

“Greeks always exaggerate, whether in sorrow or in joy,” was Otto Rehhagel’s rather unkind re­mark when, minutes after the Euro 2004 final, a Greek TV reporter asked him to comment on the explosion of mass euphoria that greeted his team’s astonishing crowning as European champions. Anx­ious to preserve his seasoned pro image, King Otto had for once got it wrong. If anything, even in jubilation both players’ and fans’ reactions to the “fairytale of Portugal” were characterised by stunned incredulity and down to earth realism. “How on earth did you pull such a stunt?” a reporter asked striker Demis Niko­laides a few hours after the final. “I have no idea,” came the honest reply, while scorer Angelos Charisteas urged the fans back home to party on as “they would most probably never experience anything remotely similar in their lifetimes”.

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