Thom Gibbs looks at the latest kit designs and finds only a few sartorial gems among the racks of polyester horrors and 'Climacool' fabrics

Pre-season is a time to nurse gently the bruises that football has inflicted on our souls in the past nine months. As the new campaign approaches we revert to a position of blind optimism and unreserved excitement. Nothing captures that dumbly hopeful glow better than the first glimpse of next season’s shirts. What unforgettable moments will we associate with our side’s new kit? Will it be remembered as a cocky disaster like England’s Admiral strips of the barren 1970s? Or surreal triumph, à la the radioactive bird poo kit inexorably linked to Norwich’s 1990s European adventures?

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Barcelona turn up with barely a first-teamer in their ranks, Celtic show off a new away shirt, Spurs struggle in their latest kit abomination, while Al-Ahly make up the numbers. Taylor Parkes welcomes you to the Wembley Cup, summer's latest soporific pre-season tournament

The English summer: airless buses, flies in the wheelie-bin and pre-season tournaments we'll never, ever forget. It's that time of year again (this morning was so summery, a hailstorm set off all the car alarms down my street), so it's off to the Wembley Cup, a star-studded spectacular in the grand tradition of the Araldite Trophy, the Dr Pepper World Shield and the All-England Esso Bauble, or whatever the hell they were called.

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Al Needham remembers a time when foreign clubs, footballers and national sides were a complete – and enjoyable ‘ mystery

We live in a world where (barring the news, and even only every now and again) we are devoid of surprises. We hear singles on the radio months before they’re released, which go straight to No 1 and immediately fizzle down the charts. We download films and American TV shows half a year before they come out over here. By the time a video-game comes out, anyone remotely interested in it knows what it looks like, how it sounds, what you have to do in the final level and how to cheat at it.

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Gavin Willacy looks forward to the Premier League debuts of two of Burnley's thirtysomethings – better late than never

When Burnley make their return to top-flight football after 33 years, two of their most important players will be making their Premier League debuts in the 30s. Graham Alexander, who captained the side at Wembley in May, is approaching his 38th birthday, and Wade Elliott, the midfielder who scored the winning goal against Sheffield United, will be 30. They have both come a long way.

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In southern Spain, former England manager Glenn Hoddle is rebuilding the careers of young players. Steve Wilson reports

It would be understandable for the players of Notts County to be pinching themselves at the thought of pre-season under the guidance of Sven-Göran Eriksson. The chance to work with a former England manager, despite career paths that appeared to have closed off such a possibility, might appear unique to them. Elsewhere, however, the same, equally unexpected opportunity has befallen another set of hopefuls. At least four of whom would give glowing reports as to the redemptive qualities such an experience brings.

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