Brian Homewood salutes an unconventional goalkeeper

Like Timbuktu and Outer Mongolia, Paraguay is best-known for being an out-of-the-way place. If it has any claim to fame, it is for harbouring Nazi war criminals. It is mocked by neighbouring Brazil, which sees it as a smugglers’ haven (in reality Brazil is one of South America’s crime capitals), and sneered at by Argentina, which looks on it as a source of cheap labour. An estimated one million Paraguayans live in Argentina, many of them employed cleaning up after rich natives.

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Barry Gray recounts the story of his coldest ever away day

16th January 1970 and my team, a palsied Hounslow Town of the Athenian League, complete an odyssey across the Home Counties for a London Senior Cup First Round tie against Hitchin Town. That day, at Top Field, remains the coldest I have ever been in my life.

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Neil Reynolds hasn't the foggiest idea about one game at Molineux

Black Country derbies are not renowned for their high quality, but there was one Wolves v West Brom game a few years ago when there was actually no football seen at all. It was 31st January 1981 – a dank, dreary day, yet with no hint of the drama that was to unfold.

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Ewan Davidson recounts several tales of horrible conditions in the Wild West

Many non-natives believe all of Scotland shares the same climate. In fact, the West coast gets almost twice as much rainfall as the East. And for reasons I’ve never understood, more than half the population lives in the West too (something to do with tobacco I’ve been told, but it doesn’t grow there, although rice might).

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Ian Cusack explains why Darlington and Hartlepool United are synonymous with the term 'perennial strugglers'

Imagine the scenario: a resurgent North Eastern club, managed by an ex-international captain, playing the best football in their history and seemingly certain to be rewarded with a major prize, inexplicably falter in the closing weeks of the season and chuck it away on the final day. The next season begins with an air of gloom despite a major signing and rumours of a relocation to a brand new stadium. Eventually the board accept one of the frustrated manager’s numerous offers to resign and replace him with a former manager and former player.

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