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France 98: A bluffer’s guide

A very basic run-down of the 32 teams at this summer's World Cup

Worried that your lack of knowledge of international football will leave you exposed when conversation turns to the World Cup draw? Fear no more. Our cut-out-and-throwaway guide gives a thoroughly researched journalistic fact about every team, sure to be repeated umpteen times on television from now until the moment ITV show slow motion footage of Romario to the accompaniment of Santana’s Black Magic Woman.

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Under performers

Australia have once again failed to qualify for the World Cup. Mike Ticher questions what will become of football in the country after their latest elimination

Australia have lost to some curious teams in their efforts to qualify for previous World Cups – Kuwait, Indonesia, Fiji – but France ’98 was surely the worst beating they had ever handed out to themselves.

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Smoke signals

Scarborough have had numerous set-backs in their history, and Mark Staniforth thinks he knows why

Far too many clubs’ greatest achievements have disappeared in the mists of time. But few clubs can claim that their most memorable moments have disappeared into the smoke from No 55 Edgehill Road.

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Humiliation – Luton

As a Luton Town supporter, John Earls knows a thing or two about heavy defeats

Anyone like me who grew up learning to read mainly from football books will probably have gone through a phase of reading too many Rothmans Football Yearbooks, and actually become briefly interested in the game’s statistics. Mine came when I first started going to watch Luton’s games during our 1981-82 promotion season and – subconsciously needing to prepare myself for the grim years ahead – I cooled down after 3-2 wins over QPR by learning as much as I could about the club’s history.

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Humiliation – Theology College

Don't judge your opponents before the match, warns Jeffrey Prest as he remembers the embarrassing defeat suffered by his university team

“It’s a theology college,” said our captain, and the mood among Cripps Hall Thirds visibly lightened. We had lost often that season, yet narrowly enough to believe that just one thumping victory would be the enema for our potential.

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