Harry Golightly offers some guidance to anyone with a spare afternoon in Scunthorpe

Scunthorpe United’s top scorer last season, Jamie Forrester, outraged locals by describing the town as “a shed” in a recent interview with top onanist’s periodical Loaded. In the inevitable media storm that followed (well, one publicity seeking local politician blowing a fuse in the town’s nightly excuse for a newspaper) Forrester neatly attempted to sidestep the issue with the same precision as he might finish off a move on the pitch. He claimed he had “never actually used the word ‘shed’”, as if this were crucially distinct from the words he actually uttered. Clever. “All I said was that there was nothing to do and nowhere worth going,” he disclaimed.

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Jamie Rainbow enjoys the buffet at Kilmarnock, a lacklustre service at Watford and delves into the unofficial sites of Huddersfield and Blackpool

Those who witnessed the eventful scenes in the final Old Firm league game of the season will have been surprised to discover that Scotland were the recipients of this year’s UEFA Fair Play trophy. Chief beneficiaries of the award were Kilmarnock, who automatically claimed a UEFA Cup spot. According to the official Kilmarnock site, Scotland pipped England; the eventual margin between the two countries being a mere 0.001 of a point or, in lay terms, a Dennis Wise booking. There is much to admire about this site, not because it’s visually impressive (it’s not) nor because the content is especially interesting (it isn’t), but because it is such a friendly, intimate affair, that one instantly feels part of the extended Kilmarnock family. For example, celebrating the anniversary of one of the club’s sponsors, commercial director Jim McSherry notes: “The buffet was the worst spread ever. Two or three bowls of nuts, then Dorothy sent husband Russell up to Hannahs to buy another bag of crisps. The Killie four were fair looking forward to hot sausage rolls.” The site also contains the usual vast array of largely pointless statistics but, despite this, a fleeting glimpse of one of Dorothy’s buffets makes a visit worthwhile.

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Adam Powley asks who is to blame for Tottenaham fans obtaining tickets for the Leicester end at Wembley and what are the FA are going to do about it?

Since the trouble at the Worthington Cup final, attention has focused on how Tottenham fans got seats for the Leicester end. The root of the problem seems simple: someone, or a group of people, almost certainly with connections to Leicester City, sold tickets either directly or indirectly to Spurs fans, thus at a stroke negating the effectiveness of any segregation policy. The big question is “who dunnit?”

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Rumours of the death of hooliganism may have been exaggerated. Adam Powley sees signs that it is making a comeback – though not in the newspapers

Remember the Worthington Cup final? Neutrals and even committed spectators could be forgiven for failing to recall anything memorable from such a grim game, but there was one incident that stood out for those at Wembley that day.

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Cris Freddi trawls further through the dustbins of 20th century football by selecting champion crap sides from the merely awful

This is a category you know you’re not going to be able to cover properly. For a start, there are so many poor teams around, at every level. Selkirk losing 20-0 in the Scottish Cup, Hyde 26-0 to Preston in the FA Cup, the Austrian club who lost every match in a season except the one in which their opponents didn’t turn up because they’d folded. There’s always some schoolboy side cheerfully conceding dou­ble figures in every game. We could all make acceptable lists and none would look the same.

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