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Celebrity columns

All football columnists are self-important; but some are more self-important than others. Ian Plenderleith investigates

Big names, big opinions. Emerg­ing as a person of public repute causes media top cats to assume you have something of importance to say. This is particularly true in football, where the juxtaposition of crass thought and a famous face has in recent years spawned more drivel-strewn ­column inches than the collected journalistic offerings of Frank Leboeuf laid end to end. Inevitably, this cankerous trend has spread to the internet.

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Hartlepool heartache

Money does not always bring success, as Hartlepool found out in the play-offs. Ed Parkinson reports

Reasonably sane supporters of Hartlepool and Darlington probably approached most seasons in the last century with a common set of priorities – stay in the league, stay solvent and finish above the local rival. The first two have proved difficult for both clubs at times but over­all supremacy in the third area is a matter of heated debate.

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Latic losers

Money can't buy you happiness, as this year's play-off losers can confirm. Paul Middleton reports on Wigan Athletic's failed bid to join the Firts Division

This season, despite its desperate ending at Wembley, stands out as the greatest in Wigan Athletic’s short history. It saw the club’s highest league placing, the biggest crowd at a home match, highest average attendance – up almost two thirds on last season – all in a new stadium in front of a millionaire chairman. Yet for the fans it has still been a season of frustration.

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The Bratislava pack

When Ian Cusack moved to Slovakia, he didn't expect to befollowed by No Surrender

England v Turkey: a grand total of  just over 200. Arrests? Tooled-up Category C Top Boys? Scimitar-wielding descendants of Saladin bent on Bratislavan Intifada? Actually, it was the crowd, outnumbered at least three to one by the local riot police. Looked mighty impressive in a 40,000 all-seat stadium.

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Final reminder

Sean Hanson witnessed complacency turn to confrontation at the UEFA Cup final

It is 2.40pm, the day after the rotten night before. I have just got up, having arrived home from Copenhagen at about 5.30am and gone straight to bed. On the radio I hear that the police are blaming Arsenal fans for not dispersing fast enough; that the Arsenal fans are blaming the Turks; that the FA representatives are blaming, well, just about everybody except themselves. I hear that England should consider pul­ling out of Euro 2000 and withdraw their bid for the 2006 World Cup.

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