Search: ' Paul Dickov'

Some couldn't bear to watch what seemed set to be City's most embarrassing moment, but Ian Farrell was richly rewarded for being too stunned to move

Anyone with a good memory for the cultural atroc­ities of the past may well be acquainted with Bernard Manning’s low-rent 1970s variety show The Wheeltappers and Shunters Club. Coming across this horror show of hopelessness I was shocked and saddened to see the once-mighty Roy Orbison hit rock bottom with an appearance. If a fan were to claim this as their favourite O moment, they would no doubt have got the sort of looks I receive upon telling non-Blues that the 1999 Division Two play-off final was as good as it got for Manchester City.

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They may scrape the barrel raw, but each day club sites draw in more and more people like our writer. His name is Sean Kearns and he's a Reading World addict

The headline leaves a lasting impression – like Dave Jones’s eyelashes or Peter Schmeichel’s speech pattern: “Bas gets on his dancing shoes and performs the moonwalk!”

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Tuesday 1 England scrape a 1-1 draw with Japan, who should have won after Shinji Ono equalised Michael Owen’s first-half goal. Sven’s not flustered: “The game today was not important. We were superb for 30 minutes but then we got tired.” Rafael Benítez resigns as Valencia coach and will shortly takeover at Liverpool. Inverness are turned down for promotion to the Scottish Premier League after failing to get the required two-thirds vote.

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Saturday 3 Man Utd beat Arsenal 1-0 in their FA Cup semi-final at Villa Park, Paul Scholes scoring to deny the holders a fourth successive final. “We didn't deserve to lose,” says Arsène, graciously. “I wouldn't bet on them on Tuesday night,” says Sir Alex, employing spare mind games on behalf of Claudio Ranieri. In the league, Chelsea win 1-0 at Spurs to cut Arsenal’s lead to four points. In his first start for six months, Jamie Redknapp needs plastic surgery after being accidentally punched in the mouth by his cousin Frank Lampard. Newcastle take fourth off Liverpool with a 4-2 win over Everton. Wolves lose 4-1 at home to Southampton; Claus Lundekvam scores his first goal in 296 games for the Saints. At the bottom of the First, Derby lose 1-0 to a disputed penalty at home to Walsall. Wimbledon end a run of 11 straight defeats and stave off relegation for a few days by beating Wigan 1-0. In the game of the day in the Second Division, 19,041 see Bristol City beat QPR 1-0 to draw level on points in the automatic promotion race behind Plymouth, who stay seven points clear despite a 1-0 loss at Barnsley. At the bottom Brentford and Chesterfield draw 1-1, both goals in the final minute, but slip below Peterborough, Grimsby and Stockport, who all win. Wycombe stay alive with a 2-1 win at home to Port Vale. “The lads are going through brick walls,” explains Tony Adams. In the Third Doncaster extend their lead with a 3-1 defeat of Bury, while Carlisle narrow the gap at the bottom with a 2-1 win at Swansea. In Scotland Celtic open up a 20-point lead over Rangers, coming from two down to draw with Hearts.

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Tuesday 2 Chelsea gazump Man Utd over PSV’s Arjen Robben, who will join them in the summer for £13 million. PSV chairman Harry van Raaij accuses United of cutting their original bid in half: “We were very disappointed over how low they believed they could push us.” The top two in Division One, Norwich and West Brom, draw 0-0 at Carrow Road. Forest, unbeaten in five games under Joe Kinnear, go four points clear of the drop zone after a 1-0 win at Wimbledon. Plymouth stretch their lead in the Second to four points after beating Sheffield Wed 2-0, as Bristol City are held 1-1 at home by Wycombe.

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