The Archive

Phil Tanner recalls a football match like no other he'd ever seen before

You probably know one. That non-League ground the train whistles past on the way to the game. I used to wonder what that place is slinking behind the gas holders between Slough and Paddington, glimpsed across a car lot with zillions of gleaming imports. Or maybe exports. Then one day, with favourable pollution readouts and the sun at the right angle, I glimpsed the logo on the stand roof. “Yeading AFC”. Now the only mystery is how to pronounce it…

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It may have only been in the playground, but Neil Reynolds can remember coming to blows with somebody about a football match for the first time

I thumped him in the stomach; he reacted with a punch to my eye which jolted my head backwards. My reply was a jab to the nose which drew blood, and he countered with a hard left to my face. A teacher then stepped in and dragged us apart with honours even, or maybe even me marginally ahead; in truth, though, had the contest lasted more than a few seconds, I would have probably been pulverised.

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He was already a veteran supporter of Newcastle, but Matthew Roche remembers the first time he saw them play in Minsk

Sorting through my Newcastle videos the other day I noticed several were missing. Where was the “Abject failure dressed up as excitement” compilation? Who had swiped my record of the abortive 1990-91 campaign? Then a guilty thought struck me – Dynamo Minsk must still have them.

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Dear WSC
As a student of Romanian language and literature (no, there aren’t many of us) I spend a lot of time in Romania and have become rather fond of Steaua as a result. Unfortunately, I was not in Bucharest for the visit of Aston Villa, and therefore had to watch the game on Channel 5. I spent it counting cliches. They started immediately after the opening titles ceased – cue shot of the Câsa Poprilor, which is not where Ceaucescu lived as Channel 5 told us; cue orphans; cue interview with a taxi driver (and I hoped he ripped Channel 5 off as Bucharest taxi drivers do most foreigners). Even worse was the predictably awful pronunciation of Romanian names. For the eight thousandth time, ‘Steaua’ is pronounced ‘Ste-au-wa”. As for the attempts by all involved to pronounce ‘Ciocoiu; (which should be ‘Chock-oi-oo’), I’m still laughing. Villa themselves must also be berated for their patronising ‘gifts’ of food and bobble hats to a Bucharest orphanage, thereby reinforcing all the stereotypes that Britons have vis a vis Romania, sure to be repeated during the World Cup . The Romanians’ economy is not as strong as our own, but the populace is not starving, and does not need charity.  But perhaps Villa have now set a precedent, whereby teams from strong economic powers should bring donations for their poorer hosts. So, if Villa go on to play a German team later in the competition, maybe their opponents should bring food and clothes for the homeless of Birmingham?
Craig Turp, London SW20

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Constantly changing the rules makes things difficult for everybody, not least the referees

Watching Nigel Martyn take an eternity over a goalkick the other day prompted thoughts about the Law of Unintended Consequences. Some years ago the tidy-minded people on FIFA’s rule-making committee decided that one of their minor rules was unnecessarily holding up play. It was the one that said a goalkick must be taken from whichever side of the goal the ball went out of play.

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