The Archive

What's going on in Mitteleuropa these days? Ian Plenderleith discovers that the angst of the low crowds in the heart of the continent is alleviated only by poetic team names, a healthy beer culture, fine Canadian-made hats and Hungarian goose liver cooked in a patriotic red paprika

One quiet morning recently I found myself sitting at the computer reading out loud the results from the 26th round of play in the 2003-04 season of the Slovak second division. Dusla Sala 1 Tatran Presov 2. It sounded so good that I did it again. There was a certain kind of poetry to it and a special feeling that comes with knowing you are likely the only person in the world right now sitting at his computer and reading out loud the results from Slovakia’s division two.

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England go into Euro 2004 confident that they can finally live up to expectations, with the steps taken to prevent violence likely to stop the country being embarassed by its supporters as in previous years. But is enough being done to control their mouths, as well as their fists?

Cautious optimism seems in order for England, on and off the pitch, as they head for Portugal. The team’s prospects are considered as good as they have been for a major tournament since before Euro 88 – but we all know how that ended. More, though, has been done than ever to try to ensure that England are not embarrassed by their support. Everyone knows there is a risk the team could be sent home unbeaten due to violence from a minority of fans and at last some ser­ious steps have been taken.

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Grimsby fan Ian Rodwell discusses why his side have been relegated for the second successive season

What were the main reasons for your relegation?
We were relegated because of bad management throughout the club. In recent years Grimsby have been run as a hobby instead of as a business. Having been relegated the previous season we kept our inexperienced manager Paul Groves, obviously out of his depth, until March, then appointed his assistant, Graham Rodger, who won a few games. He was then replaced by Nicky Law – who had no idea at all, managing three wins in 12 matches. The club needs strong leadership, something the chairman, Peter Furneaux, is incapable of providing.

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It's quite a coincidence – a film about hooliganism has come out just before Euro 2004. David Stubbs finds barely a redeeming feature in people who really should know better

As evidence of the mindset of fevered gormlessness in which this film was forged, director Nick Love says he wanted to make a film about the white working-class men “who make up 70 per cent of this country”. That demographic howler speaks more about a disproportionate fascination with hooliganism, its cama­raderie, its violence, its blood and honour, than about reality, about which The Football Factory proudly says next to nothing.

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A half-time team-talk is maybe all that was needed to save this play from what, on the evidence of it's first-half showing, looked to be a thrashing at the hands of the critics. Barney Ronay explains why

Some things have no place in football. These include racism, violence and the theatre. Sing Yer Heart Out for the Lads, Roy Williams’ new play at the National Theatre, is effectively two separate plays in two acts. The first is about football and is terrible. All the action takes place in a south London pub. It’s a convincing reproduction, down to the red-patterned carpet and Sunday roast for £3.75. The only false note is the cluster of young professionals sitting at the tables, although these turn out to be members of the audience roped in to the set.

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