The Archive

The scuffle at St James' Park was anything but savoury, but let's not get carried away

If you look outside for a moment, it’s likely that the streets will be awash with children scrapping with each other in imitation of the fight broadcast from St James’ Park on April 2. Some will be pretending to be Lee Bowyer or Kieron Dyer, others will have been assigned the roles of peacekeeper Gareth Barry and bystander Lee Hendrie. Who knows where it may lead? When will footballers realise that they are role models whose every action, however stupid, will likely be mirrored by impressionable youngsters?

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According to Gavin Willacy, Wembley isn't the FA's only major project not going to plan

Most of the Football Association’s many problems at present are dealt with on the back pages. But one major story has slipped through the net. The new Wembley has been beset by industrial action, financial difficulties and schedule set-backs, but these have been forgiven by everyone who catches a breath-taking glimpse of it taking shape.

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Are self-deprecation and sexual repression at the heart of English football? Harry Pearson thinks it may be so

The English are routinely disparaging about English football. Part of it is frustration at years of failure, but mainly it is a way of distancing ourselves from other English people. Our ancestors long ago perfected the art of self-deprecation once removed. When the English speak of the English they are not speaking of themselves but of, you know, those other “typical” English people. Thus when an English person says that “the English are sexually repressed”, what they are actually telling you is: “I am not sexually repressed.”

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Tuesday 1 Drama to the last in Sheffield United’s FA Cup fifth-round replay with Arsenal, settled by Manuel Almunia making two saves in a shoot-out after a 0‑0 draw. “An average Premiership side would have lost but Sheffield were electric for 120 minutes,” say Arsène. Brentford take a fourth-minute lead against Southampton, but lose 3‑1. Blackburn beat Burnley 2‑1 with a late goal from Morten Gamst Pedersen. Roy Keane is cleared of charges of assault over an incident near his home last year. Jermaine Pennant, however, is jailed for three months for drunk-driving while banned. “We will give him all the help and support he needs to turn his life around,” says Birmingham chief executive Karren Brady – paying him £3,000 a week might seem like help enough.

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Australia may be getting a slightly easier ride to the World Cup by joining the Asian qualifying system, say Matthew Hall, but naturally, this one's all about money

Don’t get confused. Australia’s entry into the Asian Football Confederation is not about a fairer passage to the World Cup finals. Although taking part in a genuine qualifying campaign of up to 16 games, home and away (rather than beating American Samoa 31-0 then facing a rampant Uruguay in a play-off) is an excellent side dish, the main meal is about something a little more complicated: money.

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