The Archive

Simon Tyers on how documentaries investigating football’s underworld are flattering to deceive

If making an impression is as much about what you don’t say as what you do, Martin Tyler gave a masterclass after Fernando Torres’ eye-rubbingly bad miss in the Manchester United-Chelsea match on September 18. After an “Oh no!” in the shock of the moment, Tyler couldn’t bring himself to elucidate about what we’d all just seen for a full five seconds. Hardly Pinter length, but by Sky Sports standards it was the sort of delay that would make nervous editors prepare an apology caption. Andy Gray would have shouted all over it. It was quite sweet, really.

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Rangers face a real danger of being shut down, reports Alex Anderson

In Scotland it seems even the legal system must be Old Firm-centric. Celtic decried an Edinburgh Sheriff Court jury when the case of a Hearts fan assaulting their manager, witnessed live on TV across the country, was found not proven. Two weeks later, however, the Court of Session, Scotland’s supreme civil court, redressed the balance by exposing the threat of Rangers going bankrupt in the very near future.

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Ian Plenderlith has seen what lies ahead and he doesn’t mind at all

There are five ages to being a football fan. In Age One, you are the wide-eyed innocent in your father’s wake, awestruck at every kick, scream and swearword. In the Second Age, you are the young teenager at the game with his mates, gleefully and liberally squawking those same swearwords. In Age Three, in your late teens and early 20s, you are the detached, laconic observer, trying to pretend that you don’t care by laughing at your team’s failures, all the while hurting underneath.

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Justin McCurry on Japan’s continuing love affair with English football, despite the Premier League shifting its focus to other Asian markets

When Harry Redknapp brought Yoshikatsu Kawaguchi to Portsmouth for £1.8 million in 2001, detractors spied a case of commercial considerations taking precedence over footballing ability. Sure enough, the Japanese goalkeeper departed under a cloud less than two years later after a series of hapless performances that saw him lose his place to the 42-year-old Dave Beasant.

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Dear WSC
In answer to Jamie Sellers’ enquiry (Letters, WSC 296), no, David Needham and I are not related, although I pretended he was for a while at junior school. Also, when I went to Forest games and the Trent End chanted “Needham! Needham! Needham!” during corners (he was renowned for nodding them in), I would step forward, raise a hand, shout “Thank you, fans!” and then do that breathing-on-the-fingernails-and-buffing-them-on-the-lumber-jacket thing that boastful kids were wont to do in the late 1970s.
Al Needham, Nottingham

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