The Archive

Tom Davies on clubs in crisis

The supporters’ campaign to force Mansfield Town owner Keith Haslam to relinquish control of the club has been ratcheted up in recent months, with demonstrations, boycotts and even a plane fly-past display at the away game at Notts County. Haslam announced that the club was for sale on March 19, but there is widespread scepticism about the substance of this offer: the owner has form for frustrating previous expressions of interest by not ­providing enough information to bidders.

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Some of England’s best players are, naturally, with the most successful teams. Now, though, it seems to Barney Ronay that moving to a big club confers star status and that once achieved it’s never shaken off

The England team have always had problems. Reassuringly, they always seem to be the same ones. Here, in no particular order, are a few old favourites: obsession with long-ball football; the poor technique of players; rigid adherence to a 4-4-2 formation; players don’t like running around in the heat; ­everyone gets injured all the time; terrible at penalties; manager gleefully hounded from office. Factor in the periodic brief new dawn under a replacement gaffer/skipper combination only a tiny bit different from the last one and you have a pretty accurate summary of any recent visit to a major ­international tournament.

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England’s draw in Israel met with predictable catcalls, but was it as bad as the papers and fans made out? Jonathan Wilson believes Steve McClaren was short of luck as well as ideas in an awkward fixture

Were England really so bad in Israel? Given that they largely outplayed a side that had gone seven years unbeaten at home before losing to Croatia in October, it could be argued that they actually did rather well. After a nervous opening 20 minutes or so, they never looked like losing, Jamie Carragher hit the bar, Frank Lampard glanced an effort a fraction wide, Andy Johnson fluffed a great headed chance and Dudu Aouate, the Israel keeper, made three useful saves. Presented with the same opportunities, another team on another night would have won comfortably.

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England’s trip to Tel Aviv was for the most part peaceful, though some in Israel were unhappy not at the excesses of some fans but what was seen as the do-gooding of others, as Shaul Adar explains

With England coming to Israel for the first competitive meeting of the teams, one might expect media coverage revolving around Steven Gerrard, Wayne Rooney and the rest of the star names. After three days in Israel there was one Englishman who stole the limelight from the players, although nobody can remember his name. He was an England fan, bearded, obese, shirtless and sunburned, with a tattoo of Preston North End. Israelis queued for a photo with him and he appeared on TV and in all the papers, usually doing his party trick – licking his own nipple. His soundbites were rather repetitive, like the questions. “I had X beers so far today.” Or, “I went to a whore house in Tel Aviv, a whore house in Jerusalem and I’m looking for a whore house in Nazareth.” He was the star but by no means alone – the crew of a respectable TV magazine show took some fans to a strip club in search of the same story.

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A recent documentary film claims to reveal the dynamics of a German dressing room – that of the national team at the World Cup. But Matt Nation has witnessed a very different side to coaching techniques at a lower level

Rarely has a U-rated film in Germany been as scandal-soaked as Söhnke Wortmann’s Deutschland. Ein Sommermärchen (Germany: A Summer’s Fairytale), the fly-on-the-wall documentary about Germany’s World Cup campaign. It revealed more false bonhomie in the German dressing room than at a ­civil‑service office Christmas party. It demonstrated how David Odonkor makes just as much sense when interviewed with a mouthful of toothpaste as without. It exposed young men in sickening states of undress, including flip-flops and towelling socks together. But, most of all, it gave Jürgen Klinsmann the chance to add to his motley collection of alter-egos, in this case as Motivationsmeister.

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