Book reviews

Lots of players are expected to have big futures but never justify the hype. Cris Freddi profiles some of the game's biggest underachievers

Edu, (Jonas Eduardo Américo)
The first ‘new Pelé’, he scored in his second international and became an immediately controversial figure by being included in the 1966 World Cup squad at the age of 16 but not playing a match while Brazil picked a string of knackered veterans. A skilful winger, he played in the 1970 & 1974 finals, but only against the weakest opposition (Romania & Zaire), and was always a peripheral figure despite winning 42 caps.

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There are big plans afoot for football in a corner of Greater Manchester, Ashley Shaw explains

“Tameside is the largest Metropolitan Borough in England without a League team, that is a fact that we intend to correct as soon as possible.” This was how Peter Barnes, chairman of Conference hopefuls Stalybridge Celtic, helped kick up one hell of a stink in Tameside, East Manchester.

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Matt Nation believes that if players were knocked off their pedestals occasionally football as a whole would benefit

Every team has done it at some point; a goal ahead with five minutes left, a defender reaches a dangerous-looking through-ball from the opposition and attempts to welt it into a neighbouring county in order to waste a few more minutes. Although not laudable in itself, playing for time really is a great leveller.

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Gary Oliver analyses the impact of any premature elimination from European football for Rangers

Following Rangers’ trouncing in Gothenburg, acting skipper Jonas Thern complained that he had suffered cramp through having to cover for colleagues who had gone AWOL. But it was not only certain players whose whereabouts were unknown: Walter Smith vanished until the following week, it later emerging that he had been in hospital for a minor operation. Numbed by watching his latest batch of expensive imports capitulate in almost unimaginable fashion, Smith would have had little need for an anaesthetic.

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A look at the increasingly obscure job titles that are created at football clubs

MANAGER – 20th century
Typical day: 7.00am Gets to ground at first light. Goes to shops for light bulbs, post it notes, and pine fresh toilet duck. 9.00 – On the phone to business manager of a leading Spanish club negotiating £23 million transfer deal. 9.15 Talking multi million pound contract with player’s agents. 9.30 Cleans toilets, replaces lightbulbs, dusts trophy cabinet. 10.30 Secures deal on transfer. 11.00 Denies transfer rumours to local and national press. 11.15. Visits estate agent to buy luxury suburban castle near golf course for new player. 13.00 Announces signing of new player. 13.10 Has clear the air meeting with first team players unhappy about new player’s massive wages. 14.00 Services lawnmower and mends goal nets. 5.30 Shows kids’ birthday party group round stadium. Presents birthday boy with cake. Changes into Freddie the Footie Clown suit and performs slapstick routine. 17.30 Picks team for tonight’s game
If he could sign one player it would be: David Batty
Motto: The chairman makes work for idle hands.

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