Book reviews

Ronald Reng explains why he's still waiting for English attitudes to foreign players change

In the crowded toilet of a Barnsley nightspot called The Theatre I learned what it means to be a foreign football hero in England. As I walked in with Lars Leese, Barnsley’s giant German goalkeeper, one of the men relieving themselves turned around and wel­comed Lars with a hint of poetry: “Oh, Lars Leese/Tall as trees.” Then the man gently stepped back to offer Lars his place at the urinal. During all this he kept on pissing, now on the floor.

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Like it or not, more foreigners are on their way. Guy Osborn and Steve Greenfield explain the new work permit rules in the pipeline

The argument that too many foreigners are ruining British football often revolves around quality rather than quantity. By common consent the likes of Ginola, Zola and Stam have made a positive contribution to the Premier League but there are many others who could be regarded as journeymen. It is this influx, the critics argue, that is devaluing the national character of the game and denying domestic players opportunities. Changes now being considered by the Department of Education and Employment may result in even greater numbers of overseas players coming into the country.

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Csaba Abrahall explains how Mauricio Taricco went from unknown to hero during his time at Portman Road

When John Lyall was in South America in the summer of 1994, searching for new recruits to join Ipswich Town’s impending relegation battle, some national papers suggested Gabriel Batistuta was set to arrive at Portman Road. Those of us who knew better laughed off this fanciful notion, yet, had Town some­how found the millions to persuade Batigol and his flowing locks to swap the Ponte Vecchio for the Orwell Bridge, it’s unlikely he would have been as popular as the unknown full-back Lyall brought back for £175,000.

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Paul Sunter runs the rule over the Darlington's foreign policy

When the children of the world lay down their heads at night, many probably dream of playing for a great football club. Recently several have achieved that dream, by turning out for Darlington.

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Harry Golightly offers some guidance to anyone with a spare afternoon in Scunthorpe

Scunthorpe United’s top scorer last season, Jamie Forrester, outraged locals by describing the town as “a shed” in a recent interview with top onanist’s periodical Loaded. In the inevitable media storm that followed (well, one publicity seeking local politician blowing a fuse in the town’s nightly excuse for a newspaper) Forrester neatly attempted to sidestep the issue with the same precision as he might finish off a move on the pitch. He claimed he had “never actually used the word ‘shed’”, as if this were crucially distinct from the words he actually uttered. Clever. “All I said was that there was nothing to do and nowhere worth going,” he disclaimed.

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