Bottom of the pile. Fewest goals scored, most conceded. Fewest games won, most lost. Keith Butterick summarises a tough season in Division Three for Halifax Town

Well, at least we have secured our place in the history books. Not, though, for anything as em­otionally gratifying as being the first Third Division club to win the FA Cup. No, typical of Halifax Town, our entry will be the type that no one wants – the first club to be promoted from the Conference and then relegated again. Quite an achievement even by our standards.

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Mathias Kowoll leads us round the grounds that the home nations may or may not be visiting four summers from now

Does anyone remember Sir Bert Millichip’s al­leged promise to the DFB (German FA) that Eng­land would not bid for the 2006 World Cup because Germany had supported Eng­land for Euro 96? Well, Bert himself didn’t. But Franz Böhmert, the president of Wer­der Bremen, must have recalled it when he found out that the Weserstadion would not be one of the 12 stadiums sel­ected for 2006.

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As the Premier League indulges in its tenth birthday cake, the gulf in class between the top flight and the rest of the Football League has stretched almost beyond repair

At the time of going to press it seems that a new Premiership record will be set this season – and, as the ridiculous fuss over Alan Shearer’s 200th goal since 1992 shows, those are the kind of records that count these days. This season, the tenth since football began, is almost cer­tain to be the first that all of the promoted teams have succeeded in staying in the Premiership.

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Monday 1 Arsenal go a point clear after a 3-0 win at Charlton. “We know it’s down to us now,” says Arsène. “We’ve gifted six goals in two games,” sighs a baffled David O’Leary as Leeds’ Champs League hopes fade further with a 2-1 defeat at Spurs. Ipswich slip into the bottom three after Marcus Bent misses a penalty in a goalless draw with Chelsea, while John Gregory is “almost lost for words” after Derby’s 1-0 home defeat by Middlesbrough. Everton survive the early dismissal of a punch-throwing Duncan Ferguson (“He was stupid and I’ve told him,” says his new manager) to record a 3-1 win over Bolton, also reduced to ten. In the First, West Brom’s 1-0 win at Coventry takes them level on points with Wolves, beaten 2-0 at home by Man City. Brighton go two points clear at the top of the Second with a last-minute winner against Bristol City, displacing Reading who draw at home with Northampton. Several Luton players are questioned by police following a nightclub brawl to celebrate their promotion. Halifax, 5-0 losers at Darlington, go down to the Conference for the second time in nine years.

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In an extract from his new history of German football, Tor!, Uli Hesse-Lichtenberger recalls the sensation of the 1971 Bundesliga bribery scandal

Despite his name, the German-born Spaniard Horst Gregorio Canellas was not a Cosa Nostra don but an importer of bananas. Legend has it he supplied the DFB (German FA) headquarters. He had a raspy voice worthy of Al Pacino and was a chain-smoker, despite persistent asthma problems. He had also been the pre­sident of Kickers Offenbach since 1964.

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