Wearside has seen an unlikely football marriage, but Paul Doyle looks behind the headline spats to see how much Roy Keane and Niall Quinn have in common and assess their chances of survival

Niall Quinn often comes across as a Ronan Keating-type figure. There’s something earnest about the two Dubliners that denotes a craving to be perceived as nice guys. And there’s something essentially gormless in their demeanours that frequently suggests they’re both merely well meaning simpletons not to be taken seriously in the real, nasty world. So when Quinn first declared his intention to take over Sunderland, many in his homeland greeted the news with the same mixture of pity and amusement that they felt several years ago when Keating expressed an interest in becoming president of Ireland.

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Tom Davies updates us on clubs in crisis

The inner workings of Peterborough United have been laid bare by Sky’s Big Ron Manager series, in which the discredited ex-pundit was brought in to “advise” then caretaker-manager Steve Bleasdale as the team challenged for last season’s play-offs – their form collapsed. This dirty laundry-airing exercise is the latest in a string of developments that has left supporters exasperated with Barry Fry after nine years of declining playing fortunes and attendances since he arrived, first as manager then as chairman.

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Steve Menary examines the possibility of a Scottish Premier League Two and the ramifications it could have

Does Scotland need a second premier league? The Scottish Premier League (SPL) was formed as a protectionist dash to ring-fence cash and crush rumours that the Old Firm would play elsewhere. Now, clubs in the first division of the Scottish Football League (SFL) want even more protection.

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As Obafemi Martins arrives on Tyneside one question still remains – how old is the Nigerian? Filippo Ricci reports

Before Newcastle’s UEFA Cup tie against Ventspils in August, Obafemi Martins was paraded in front of the crowd. Glenn Roeder was delighted with his £10 million signing from Internazionale – though he did face some slightly unwelcome questions regarding just how old the new man was. “We at Newcastle have never questioned his age. It is disrespectful to question his age, around the world we have a good reputation. He is 21, we know he is 21, we always have done, we have a talented young player.”

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Cameron Carter observes how Mark Lawrenson is slowly veering away from what he's put there to be – a pundit

John Helm must have done something quite bad, but not dreadful, in a previous life. Perhaps he murdered a cow or was a slum landlord with only one slum. Whatever it was, in his current incarnation he has been forced to eternally comment on the UEFA Cup on Five. Because of his lack of options, Helm can’t make like Alan Green if the action’s a bit slow and tell everyone how bored he is; instead he must remain upbeat at his vigil and keep his and everyone else’s spirits up. As Newcastle toiled away against Ventspils of Latvia, many of us were reaching for the off switch and resignedly contemplating housework. Helm sensed this. “It’s an interesting game,” he pleaded, “without goals.” A slight pause. “Eleven minutes to the break,” he went on, in the preoccupied tone of a man who was calculating that in seconds.

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