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Tayside tussle

Although they both have grounds on the same street, the fortunes of Dundee and Dundee United have contrasted sharply in recent seasons. Neil Forsyth looks at a remarkable few months on Tayside.

In any two-team city a football club’s perceived success is measured in two ways – their success and the comparative success of the other. For the city of Dundee that delicate arrangement has just encountered a volatile season.

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The José Mourinho show

Simon Tyers watches ITV and Sky attempt to outdo each other in the calamity stakes as television football coverage slowly becomes a parody of itself

The comedic songwriter Tom Lehrer once said that satire died on the day that Henry Kissinger won the Nobel Peace Prize. Seeing Neil Ruddock cast as an expert on a show entitled England’s Worst Ever Football Team, I knew exactly how he felt. At the other end of the scale, ITV’s commentary is the satirical equivalent of shooting fish in a barrel.

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Cruel intentions

The Mail on Sunday recklessly puts England's World Cup bid at risk and the press leap on a half-hearted scandal, forcing Lord Triesman to resign as FA chairman

Should you be held publicly accountable for every remark you’ve ever made during casual conversation? Yes, according to the Mail on Sunday, only in their world such remarks are “serious allegations” and having dinner with a former mistress constitutes a “meeting”. And having somehow reached those conclusions they unleashed yet another quintessentially English media scandal about nothing in particular.

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Losing interest

As the Glazers show no signs of selling Manchester United, fans must decide how to respond to this news

For a while earlier this year it seemed as though the Glazer family’s rapacious involvement with Manchester United might be coming to an end. Matches were accompanied by large-scale fan protests against the owners while a group of United-supporting businessmen were said to be preparing a take­over bid. Now, however, it seems the three unprepossessing middle-aged brothers who look after their father’s businesses are going to be around for a while yet.

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Blue murder

The immediate past is traumatic and the future as yet unclear. Portsmouth fan Leon Tricker assesses the mess at Fratton Park

As the Chelsea players went up to collect their 2010 FA Cup winners’ medals, all you could hear ringing out across Wembley was the Pompey Chimes. We had dared to dream that we really could win the Cup again, a final act of defiance from fans, players and a manager united in adversity. But what do Portsmouth now have to show for seven years in the  Premier League? We’ve got the same “stadium” we’ve always had, the same antiquated infrastructure, a shattered reputation and a mountain of debt. Fans up and down the country have expressed anger at Pompey’s predicament. But if you feel you’re missing out on something don’t worry – your club could be next.

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