Carlisle to join the Scottish League (shame it had as much credibility as a UFO sighting). Stephanie Pride
Kevin Keegan’s ascension to part-time then full-time England boss. The papers cried out for Kevin, so he had to appear, whether he was anyone’s first choice or not. Equally, when he decided to go full time, there seemed to just be this acceptance that this is what everyone wanted. Anthony Hobbs
Watching the Evesham United goalkeeper against Stafford Rangers. Whenever the ball came towards goal, he’d just stand there, cemented to the line, and watch it go. Sometimes it went into the net, and sometimes it didn’t. His strip was cleaner at full-time than it was at the start. I suspect he was probably the manager’s son-in-law or something. David Wangerin
Dear WSC
Allow me to be one of the first begrudgers in the queue. For some reason Manchester United are being described as being a member of European football’s “elite”. United fans should realise that their team has just gone from winning the European Cup as many times as Aston Villa, to winning the European Cup as many times as Nottingham Forest. “Elite” my arse.
Brian Hughes, via email
Harry Golightly offers some guidance to anyone with a spare afternoon in Scunthorpe
Scunthorpe United’s top scorer last season, Jamie Forrester, outraged locals by describing the town as “a shed” in a recent interview with top onanist’s periodical Loaded. In the inevitable media storm that followed (well, one publicity seeking local politician blowing a fuse in the town’s nightly excuse for a newspaper) Forrester neatly attempted to sidestep the issue with the same precision as he might finish off a move on the pitch. He claimed he had “never actually used the word ‘shed’”, as if this were crucially distinct from the words he actually uttered. Clever. “All I said was that there was nothing to do and nowhere worth going,” he disclaimed.