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Search: 'Neville Southall'

Stories

Sunday service

One of Britain's best-ever goalkeepers is now a striker for a pub side. Mark Winter relates the latest unlikely chapter in the Neville Southall story

If a pin could make a noise when it drops on mud, you would have heard it. Even the pied wagtail that was hopping up and down the touchline seemed to stop to watch the pen­alty being taken. The score was 1-1 mid­way through the second half and the outcome of the Se­cond Division championship race could have de­pended on a successful conversion.

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Senior citizens

The European Union is expanding as rapidly as the waistlines of retired footballers. Al Needham puzzled over an event that brought the two together

The Europe United Masters tournament was held at the London Arena on a miserable October Sunday, wedged between the Disney Channel Kids Awards and Beauty and the Beast On Ice. It had a weird premise: the Foreign Office decided that the best way to mark the admission of ten new coun­tries to the European Union was to organise a kick­about for retired foot­ballers, some of them not exactly re­nowned for their Europhilia (one of the British Masters squad once said living in Italy was like being in a foreign country and another famously told Norway to “Fuck off”). Mind you, if you needed reminding that there have been worse ideas, we’re only a stone’s throw away from the Millennium Dome.

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Letters, WSC 167

Dear WSC
Watching the Seinfeld rerun “The Doll” recently, in which Frank Costanza rebuilt his son George’s old bedroom into a poolroom, I happened to see something peculiar behind the back of the ginger Korea vet when he is arguing with his wife Estelle. On the wall is a plaquette with the words “Pool is not a matter of life and death. It is …” well, take a guess.Does this mean that for the first time in history the Americans have picked up a lesson from a foreigner or might it be that Shanks’s quote was not so Shanks at all?
Ernst Bouwes, Nijmegen, Holland

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Always afraid to miss

Tony Cascarino's exceptional autobiography tells some harsh truths about himself and about players' lives, says Dave Hill

Oh boy. Hark at this: “It has often been said that the joy of scoring goals is greater than sex but personally I’d compare it more with masturbation. I’ve always found sex to be an absolute pleasure, but scoring goals has only ever brought relief.” The search for relief – by foot rather than by hand – and the misery of not finding it, is the key theme and metaphor of this book: a book which, at its best, is almost unbearable.

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March 2000

Wednesday 1 Man Utd beat Bordeaux 2-0. “You’ve got to win your home games,” advises Sir Alex. Mark Bosnich, dropped after his leaden-footed display against Wimbledon the previous Saturday, is said to be “fuming”, the poppet.

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