They're not the "characters" we've been told they are, claims Matt Nation
Dave Lee Travis used to host a Sunday morning radio show in which he complimented every caller on having a sense of humour “every bit as warped as mine”. The caller would then assure DLT that this couldn’t possibly be true, DLT would then, pricelessly, call him a “pilchard”. And with hardly a thigh being slapped, this naked self-promotion gradually led us to believe that DLT was the funniest man in Britain.
A goalkeeping blunder can be remebered more by fans then a 40-yard screamer. Cris Freddi takes us through some of the more memorable howlers
Let’s start with goalkeeping errors that decided FA Cup finals, shall we? There are enough for an article of their own. The most famous of all was perpetrated by a Welshman playing against a Welsh team, back in 1927. When Cardiff’s Scottish centre-forward Hugh Ferguson hit an ordinary ground shot from the edge of the area, Arsenal’s Dan Lewis had time to go down on one knee and scoop the ball into his midriff.
Thursday 1 The Department of Employment issue new rules on work permits. Players will be given permits for the length of their contracts rather than having their cases reviewed at the end of each season, and the rule stipulating that non-EU players must be among the top five wage earners at their clubs is scrapped. Forest's search for a manager ends with the appointment of the impressively tanned David Platt, who says: "The two months I had at Sampdoria were a massive learning curve." That's just what Sampdoria fans will have been thinking when they went down. The charges against Sol Camp≠bell for assaulting a steward after the Derby v Spurs match last autumn are dropped. Arsenal spend £3.5 million on a Brazilian full back, Silvinho, who says: "I have been following Arsenal ever since I knew they were watching me."
Friday 2 The PFA's Gordon Taylor criticises the changes to work permit rules. "We already have more foreign players than anywhere else in the world. Removing the wages criteria means you are opening the door to players who are not neccesarily top quality". Terry McDermott joins the Barnes-Dalglish dream team at Celtic as "social manager" – a highly specialised position which involves a lot of shouting and laughing plus the collecting of betting slips.
Hans Segers, a defendant in the football betting trials, has told his story. Matthew Roche, present in court, is unimpressed
For Hans Segers to put his name to a book on the two 1997 Winchester match-rigging trials is a little like Torquay’s chief air raid warden penning a personal history of the Second World War. Segers was a bit-player in the affair and this is reflected in a thin and disappointing book which reveals little about “soccer’s trial of the century”.
He may have excellent shot-stopping ability, but Robert Fordham wonders if David James' occasional moments of madness have cost him his place at Liverpool
So, farewell David James. Consigned to the subs’ bench after over 200 consecutive appearances for Liverpool, and at a time when papers were still writing about you as an outside England contender, given the injuries to Walker and Seaman. A tale that begs a question: how on earth did the archetypal "dodgy keeper" last so long?