Graeme Jamieson pays tribute to Andy Goram, a goalkeeper who has reached the top of his profession despite his penchant for pints and pies
For Sale: One used goalkeeper, slightly soiled by tabloid press. World-class reactions with recently installed dead man’s ligament. No fee.
Friday 1 August Attilio Lombardo finally signs for Palace for £1.6 million, after lowering his personal terms – the penthouse suite overlooking Central Park has gone, but he'll still gets the go karts and the dolphinarium. Liverpool confirm that Robbie Fowler, injured in a pre-season match, will miss the opening fortnight of the season. Newcastle block Peter Beardsley's transfer to Bolton. "It's an opportunity for Peter to lengthen his career here," says Kenny, keeping a straight face as ever.
Sunday 3 Man Utd win the Charity Shield on penalties after a 1-1 draw with Chelsea. "United were more dangerous when we had the ball than when they had it," says Ruud. The Wim Jansen era at Celtic begins with their first defeat by Hibs since decimalisation.
Saturday 2 A glimmer of hope left for Bolton, who win 1-0 at Leeds. "There is still belief that we can stay up," says Colin Todd, chomping on a four leaved clover. Dave Merrington is also feeling chipper – "The spirit in our dressing room is excellent" – despite Southampton slipping into the bottom three after losing 1-0 at Spurs, below Man City who get a late equalizer at home to Blackburn. Forest prepare for Bayern with a 3-1 win at Sheffield Wed who have Steve Nicol in goal for the whole of the second half. The other side making a late bid for relegation, Middlesbrough, suffer their ninth defeat in ten games, 2-0 at home to Everton. Debutant Branco appears for the last ten minutes and nearly scores with a trademark thirty yarder. The First Division continues on its insanely egalitarian course with erstwhile strugglers Sheffield Utd and Wolves winning away to one-time pace setters Birmingham (featuring the 49th and 50th signings of Barry Fry's two-year reign) and Millwall, the latter having Champions League deserter Sergei Yuran sent off just before full-time. What if everyone – barring Derby and Watford, in the clear at either end – were to finish level on points and goals scored and goal difference? Just exactly where would we be then, eh?
Sunday 3 Liverpool disprove the notion that the Championship is a two-horse race with a comprehensive demolition of fourth-placed Aston Villa, scoring all their goals in a 3-0 win in the first eight minutes. "I've had a few kicks up the backside in football and sometimes it's the best thing for you" says Brian Little, smiling through the tears. In Scotland, Rangers go three points clear of Celtic once more after a 2-0 win at Hibs during which goalkeeper Andy Goram is attacked by a home fan.