Dear WSC
After “sick as a parrot” and “early doors”, it seem we must now brace ourselves as another football cliche takes root. Apparently, no one in the game can now refer to the patently obvious without reach- ing for a little spurious gravitas by des- cribing it as “well documented”. In case it is not yet well documented just how irritating this affectation has become, I thought I’d get the ball rolling.
Jeffrey Prest, via email
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Stories
Monday 1 On transfer deadline day, Chelsea finally snap up Claude Makelele from Real Madrid for, ooh, £80 million or so. Everton fans might be pleased by the arrival of James McFadden from Motherwell, but possibly less excited by that of Kevin Kilbane and the return on loan of Franny Jeffers. Among other loan deals, Marcus Bent leaves impoverished Ipswich for Leicester and Portsmouth take Jason Roberts from West Brom.
Thursday 1 The FA is fined £70,000 for the pitch invasion and racist abuse at last month’s Euro 2004 qualifier with Turkey. UEFA also criticises David Beckham for his “provocative” goal celebration. England’s next match, against Slovakia, will not be played behind closed doors, however. Acting joint chief executive David Davies promises action: “We need to take this decision and use it to our benefit. There are people who have shamed this country, we all know that.” UEFA will also be sending a bill to Sir Alex, who’s fined £4,500 for claiming the Champions League draw was fixed. In the Conference play-offs, Dagenham beat Morecambe 2-1 and Doncaster draw 1-1 at Chester. Thierry Henry is named Footballer of the Year to add to the PFA award he won last week.
Wednesday 1 Arsenal stay five points clear but only after a nervous last few minutes in which Chelsea score twice before losing 3-2. “I like to win games like that when you’re tired,” says Arsène, making an excuse even though he doesn’t need to. “It was like watching the tide coming in,” says Howard Wilkinson as Man Utd score two late goals to beat Sunderland 2-1 having trailed for 75 minutes. Liverpool drop down to seventh after a tenth winless match, a 1-0 defeat at Newcastle, but Gérard sticks his chin out, sort of: “I don’t want to commit suicide before the end of the season.” Several fixtures are postponed due to bad weather, and one, Reading v Leicester, is called off at half-time due to a waterlogged pitch.
Tuesday 1 “We’re in the qualification comfort zone,” says Sir Alex, lolling in his hammock after a 4-0 win over Olympiakos. Newcastle lose again, 2-0 at Juventus, though they have a goal wrongly disallowed for offside when one down. Sir Bobby isn’t sure whether he’s given up yet: “It’s almost impossible, but we won’t say that at the moment.” Oxford Utd make the headlines in the Worthington Cup, beating Charlton on penalties after a goalless draw at The Valley. West Ham are also taken to spotkicks, finally beating Chesterfield 4-3. Sunderland treble their goals tally for the season in winning 7-0 at Cambridge. The FA are to investigate a “throat-cutting” gesture made by Eyal Berkovic to a Man City fan who had allegedly been barracking him during the team’s 3-2 win over Crewe.