Sunday 1 Business as usual at Stamford Bridge as Chelsea’s 1-1 draw with Arsenal sees Patrick Vieira sent off and a David Seaman blunder. Bolton move off the bottom with a 1-0 win over non-scoring Aston Villa, thanks to a goal from Birmingham-born Michael Ricketts and a disallowed goal from Juan Pablo Angel. “In this country we have got good referees who are being let down by assistants who are not so good,” says Graham Taylor. Lloyd Owusu’s goal with his first touch for the club puts Wednesday on their way to a 2-0 win in the Sheffield derby.
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Thursday 1 Clydebank, nearly £200,00 in debt, may close down next week if creditors fail to reach an agreement with the club’s prospective buyer. Alan Buckley is to take over at Lincoln. Long-ball zealot John Beck returns for a second spell as manager of Cambridge and says: “There were a lot of lies told about what we did here before.”
Saturday 2 The addition of Rio Ferdinand to Leeds’ defence has an instant impact, with Leicester scoring three times in the first half hour at Filbert Street. “One of my central defenders cost us all three goals but I’m not saying who it was,” says David O’Leary. The fact that Jonathan Woodgate was taken off after 37 minutes may be a clue. At Anfield, Alan Curbishley and Gérard Houllier disagree politely about Emile Heskey, who twice downs Richard Rufus. “I try to cool my players down and he tries to get my player sent off,” rages Houllier after Liverpool’s 3-0 win. “Mind you, he is English, so you forgive him.” In the First Division, Huddersfield win at home for the first time this season, beating Crewe 3-1. Wimbledon lose at home again, 1-0 to rising West Brom. “Maybe the players have a rampant sex life when they stay in their houses on Friday night,” ponders knockabout Dons boss Terry Burton. Oxford are seven points adrift in the Second after losing 3-2 at Oldham. “It is time to start kicking backsides because some of these players are looking for excuses and that’s why they are losers,” says manager David Kemp. Which should help boost morale.
Saturday 2 The sensible sensation comes off the bench to score as England draw 1-1 in Paris. “Michael was disappointed to be left out but he provided the answer,” says quizmaster Kev. Michael, however, is appropriately huffy: “I don’t think I have anything to prove in international football.” Arsenal and Chelsea players on both sides are involved in scuffles during and after the match. Sadly, no one is injured. In World Cup qualifiers, Scotland beat Latvia with a last minute goal from Neil McCann (“I can only describe our first half performance as pathetic,” says Craig Brown), Wales lose 2-1 in Belarus, Northern Ireland survive a few scares in a 1-0 win over Malta. Best performance comes from the Republic of Ireland, who take a two goal lead in Holland before drawing 2-2. Roy Keane is cross: “We should have won. I am sick of hearing that the Irish have a good time whatever the result.” Walsall hold a four-point lead in the Second Division after their fifth successive win, 2-0 over Wigan. Relief at Oxford, where the last pointless team in the League break their duck with a home draw against Cambridge.
Tuesday 2 Man Utd finish top of their Champions League group with a 2-1 win over Sturm Graz. "The competition will be more exciting for everyone from now on," yawns Alex. Arsenal's magnificently meaningless last group game ends in a 3-2 win in Stockholm. The FA are to take no action against Neil Ruddock over garlic-related remarks allegedly made to Patrick Vieira. "We fully accept that he is not racist ñ as his many black friends in the game will testify," says one of those FA spokesmen. Charlton regain second spot in the First Division after winning at Crewe. Moneybags Wigan, still unbeaten, go top of the Second by beating Chesterfield. Another bad day at the office for Barry Hearn as Leyton Orient slip to the bottom of the Third after losing at Darlington while rivals Chester win at Shrewsbury. Exciting times ahead in the Potteries, possibly, as Stoke City are bought by a consortium of Icelandic businessmen.