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The Archive

Articles from When Saturday Comes. All 27 years of WSC are in the process of being added. This may take a while.

 

Gibraltar

The Spanish aren't happy, but UEFA could soon have another member if the British territory can see off some last-minute objections. Tim Stannard reports from the sunny Mediterranean

The British territory of Gibraltar is famous for a number of things – purse-snatching monkeys, tax-dodging businessmen and a giant rock, for starters – but certainly not football. All that is about to change, as UEFA are on the brink of making the pint-sized peninsula their 53rd member, enabling a team to join the 2010 World Cup qualifying campaign.

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Behaving like animals

Ian Plenderleith enjoys mascots as much as the next man – as long as the next man isn't intent on practising his best costume-related moves in front of the mirror while concentrating on "the three Es"

There are a few cardinal rules for club mascots. They must be smiling, at all times. Their names must be alliterated or rhyming, like Donny the Dog or Scunny Bunny. And, in theory, they should have some sort of historical connection to the team they represent. A website that shows several dozen English club mascots on one page has, however, revealed the scandalous truth that most clubs are breaking at least one, if not all three, of these basic good-luck guidelines.

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Letters, WSC 238

Dear WSC
The Scotland supporters who found themselves under attack by a group of Ukraine fans on the evening prior to the recent Euro 2008 qualifier in Kiev have been praised for not retaliating but dispersing in as orderly a way as possible to avoid any escalation of the incident. Some Scots weren’t that lucky, however, about a dozen requiring hospital treatment for cuts, bruises and broken bones after the unprovoked assault by around 100 young Ukrainians in the city’s Independence Square. During the last 15 years or so, the self-styled Tartan Army has become legendary the world over for its self-deprecating humour and ability to make friends even in the most hostile of environments, as well as for swelling the coffers of local bar owners while simultaneously emptying towns and cities of supplies of beer and spirits. But in the wake of the Kiev incident, a small number of Scotland fans started to question whether being the touchy-feely, super furry animals of world football may have its downside. Indeed, it provoked an almost philosophical debate amongst Scotland fans on the streets of Kiev and later on internet forums; what would you do if we were attacked? Most who took part in this impromptu debate quite rightly condemned all violence and pointed out that Scotland fans’ hard-won reputation was at risk by even raising the spectre of the Tartan Army fighting back. A small minority put forward the thesis that Scotland have become too nice and that this translates – both on and off the field – as a soft touch. This in turn could invite trouble from determined hooligans who would attack safe in the knowledge that the Scots were unlikely to fight back. It’s unlikely, however, that this isolated event – even more shocking because it was just that – will give rise to a surge of disorder among Scots fans. Our sense of humour is unique (I still almost die laughing every time I hear people from Scotland complaining about terrible food on away trips) and can usually be relied on to defuse the odd potentially  incendiary moment.In any case, which member of the Tartan Army is seriously going to risk not being able to attend the next World Cup we qualify for? (In the words of BA Robertson’s 1982 Scotland World Cup song, I Have a Dream.)
Colin McPherson, via email

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Speaking your mind

Away from the rants of the message board maniacs, there are plenty of people trying to use the internet to stage more reasoned debates about the game. Ian Plenderleith picks a few arguments

It’s six years since this column took a critical look at a site called Voice of ­Football , a pomposity-packed home page for all kinds of blustering, big-name opinion-­mongers such as Alan Green, Uri Geller and the late Tony Banks. Thereafter the site was cursed and soon disappeared into oblivion, celebrity sheen proving no compensation for words of genuine substance.

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The percentage game

Panorama's report into corruption and the impact it is having on the game

Is football full of corrupt people? We have no idea. Or at least we have no proof. But with plenty of agents and managers saying that bungs – that is, bribes – are rife, we do know that the alternative is that the game is full of liars.                  

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