Dear WSC
After the thrilling second leg of Chelsea’s Champions League tie against Valencia, I have found that the only way to get through ITV’s woeful coverage is by marvelling at how retarded the commentary team must think we are. Having lived through Andy Gray’s 18-month-long reconciliation to the “crazy” offside rule, and survived two seasons of Five’s head-scratching over the “barmy” UEFA Cup groups, I was amazed at just how often ITV’s team felt we needed to have the away goals rule explained to us.
I realise the networks want to make their coverage accessible to all, but even the casual football observer understands the away goals rule. If I had a pound for every time the commentary team explained to me that, if Chelsea score now, then of course Valencia will need to score twice, then I would probably have collected enough to get a Setanta subscription.
Gareth Allen, Normanton
Search: 'Nelson Vivas'
Stories
Just another Arsene Wenger defensive failure? Or misunderstood man? Damian Hall tries to get to the bottom of a player who has impressed some influential coaches
Though much lauded for his astute transfer acquisitions and alchemist’s touch, there’s a theory that Arsène Wenger is actually a pretty poor judge of defenders. Gilles Grimandi, Pascal Cygan, Oleg Luzhny and Igor “fawn on ice” Stepanovs collectively conspire to let Frank Sinclair sleep easy at night, while Silvinho, Lauren and Ashley Cole all play like wannabe wingers. It seems the Professor shops for stoppers like most of us shop for Christmas presents for the in-laws – search around reluctantly for a bit, wearily realise whatever you buy probably won’t be deemed good enough and plump for the nearest bargain. And then there’s Nelson Vivas. It’s difficult to decide whether or not the Argentina right-back fits the thesis.
Even with Ronaldo in one of his funny moods, Brazil rarely needed to break sweat to retain their South American title in Paraguay as Sam Wallace reports
At either end of the Defensores Del Chacos ground in Asunción, the capital of Paraguay, stood enormous models of Budweiser cans which, at set intervals, would start to gyrate. Occasionally, a plastic bag thrown from the crowd behind the goal would sail over the cans, jettisoning in flight its cargo of urine. The irony was hard to ignore. No amount of expensive advertising ever quite managed to sanitise a gloriously chaotic Copa America 1999.
Saturday 3 Liverpool's first derby win in ten attempts, 3-2 at Anfield, is overshadowed by a row over Robbie Fowler's celebration when scoring the first of his two goals, when he mimics snorting cocaine from the white line, geddit, of the penalty area. Gerard Houllier, game for a laugh, claims Fowler was pretending to eat grass but the FA are expected to whip out another of their misconduct charges. Chelsea and Leeds make ground at the top after beating Charlton and Forest while Man Utd are held 1-1 by Wimbledon and Arsenal get a goalless draw at Southampton. In the First Division, Sunderland's 11th successive home win, 3-0 over West Brom, equals a club record. Ipswich stay second after thrashing Swindon 6-0 at the County Ground.
Saturday 1 It emerges that the clubs planning a European super league are to meet with the European Commission to establish whether UEFA or FIFA would be able to prevent a new competition being set up outside their control. Meanwhile, Alex Ferguson joins in the debate, saying: "There's been a lot of panic in every quarter about this. But when you assess English football with all the great matches you can get, does anyone really want it broken up?" Keith Gillespie looks set to be Newcastle's first sale of the summer, joining Middlesbrough for £3.5 million. Boro are also said to be in competition with Aston Villa to sign Juninho from Atletico Madrid. Celtic begin their defence of the Scottish Premier by thrashing Dunfermline 5-0.
Sunday 2 Pierre van Hooijdonk asks to be transfer-listed in the wake of Kevin Campbell's departure for Trabzonspor, saying, "I'm not prepared to let my career go down the pan. Right now the team is not good enough to survive in the Premiership." Dave Bassett responds: "Once again Pierre's lack of control has surfaced. He's got four years left on his contract." In the Scottish League match held over from yesterday, Hearts beat Rangers 2-1. There'll be another 16 English and Scottish league matches broadcast on Sky before the end of August. Spoilt, we are.