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Relive four weeks of statements of the obvious from the pundits, daily complaints about the wobbly ball and over-emphatic pronunciations of Brazilian names
June 11
South Africa 1 Mexico 1
“It’s in Africa where humanity began and it is to Africa humanity now returns,” says Peter Drury who you feel would be available for film trailer voiceover work when it’s quieter next summer. Mexico dominate and have a goal disallowed when the flapping Itumeleng Khune inadvertently plays Carlos Vela offside. ITV establish that it was the right decision: “Where’s that linesman from, that football hotbed Uzbekistan?” asks Gareth Southgate who had previously seemed like a nice man. "What a moment in the history of sport… A goal for all Africa,” says Drury after Siphiwe Tshabalala crashes in the opener. We cut to Tshbalala’s home township – “they’ve only just got electricity” – where the game is being watched on a big screen which Jim Beglin thinks is a sheet. Cuauhtémoc Blanco looks about as athletic as a crab but nonetheless has a role in Mexico’s goal, his badly mishit pass being crossed for Rafael Márquez to score thanks to a woeful lack of marking. The hosts nearly get an undeserved winner a minute from time when Katlego Mphela hits the post. Óscar Pérez is described as “a personality goalkeeper” as if that is a tactical term like an attacking midfielder. Drury says “Bafana Bafana” so often it’s like he’s doing a Red Nose event where he earns a pound for an irrigation scheme in the Sudan every time he manages to fit it in.
Gunther Simmermacher explains how the pressures of hosting a World Cup may be getting to South Africa
Even by the standards of South African football, the appointment of Brazilian coach Joel Santana to lead the national team, Bafana Bafana, at the 2010 World Cup was an eccentric decision. In April 2008 Carlos Alberto Parreira, the 1994 World Cup-winning coach, quit as South Africa coach to be with his ailing wife. South African Football Association (SAFA) president Molefi Oliphant asked him to recommend a successor. Parreira suggested Santana, then at Flamengo.
Some major European countries have received help in the 2010 play-offs. Jonathan O'Brien looks at a controversial draw
Would you bother watching a World Cup that didn’t have Cristiano Ronaldo prancing around in it? What about one that didn’t feature the silky skills of Andrei Arshavin? Or Franck Ribéry? Or even – gasp – Zlatan Ibrahimovic?
Carlos Queiroz's move home from Manchester United has not gone well. Phil Town reports on a national team suddenly in crisis
Despite a series of nearly-got-theres during five years as Portugal coach, by the summer of 2008 Luiz Felipe Scolari had overstayed his welcome and wanted out to lusher pastures. Perhaps seduced by his two successive World Cup wins at Under-20 level (1989 and ’91) and by his association with Manchester United’s successes in recent years, but apparently ignoring his indifferent previous spell as national coach (ten wins from 23 games between 1991 and ’93), the Portuguese Football Federation (FPF) put their faith in the Mozambique-born Carlos Queiroz, at the time a popular choice.