THE HALF DECENT FOOTBALL MAGAZINE

NorthGeelong300

The North Geelong Warriors all lived in the same big house in a village in North Geelong and had a fearsome reputation although they never missed the rent. In keeping with the codes and traditions of neo-medieval agricultural-military collectives, they would not attack civilians unprovoked but could be a difficult neighbour when roused. As the children of Mr and Mrs Hibbert, the North Geelong Warriors' neighbours to the right, discovered when their football went over the garden fence.

On attempting to retrieve the ball surreptitiously at twilight, the Hibbert twins located it near the North Geelong Warriors' shed, emphatically impaled by a broadsword. This was a highly traumatic moment for the young lads and, according to their parents, neither of them were able to hang their clothes up properly again. Several further football impalements occurred until Mr Hibbert visited the Warriors to complain.

The Warriors could only be dissuaded from burning their neighbour alive on the back patio by a promise from the chair of the residents' committee that the North Geelong Warriors could have their own stall at the summer fete demonstrating impaling, book-burning and heretic torture (using deceased water voles). In this way the North Geelong Warriors were integrated into the wider community and the Hibbert boys learned to get their knee over the ball when shooting. Cameron Carter

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