Search: 'South Melbourne'

Sepp Blatter is promising Oceania automatic entry to the World Cup, again. Matthew Hall thinks this time he may actually come up with the goods

To be or not to be? That’s the question for the Oceania Football Confederation as FIFA promises the qualifying process for the 2006 World Cup will be decided in Madrid this December. The proposal, from none other than the president Sepp Blatter, is that Oceania takes the guaranteed qualifying place freed up by the decision that the holders will no longer qualify auto­matically for future World Cups.

Read more…

Thursday 1 Chelsea go out of the UEFA Cup after a 1-1 draw with Hapoel Tel-Aviv. Claudio Ranieri keeps his sunny side up: “The result went against us but it was a brilliant performance.” Leeds survive a scare in Troyes, where they lose 3-2 but go through 6-5 on aggregate. Ipswich save their best till last again, winning 3-1 in Helsingborg. Stung by rejection, Crystal Palace chairman Simon Jordan refuses to accept Steve Bruce’s attempt to resign as manager: “At no time will Steve be allowed to talk to Birmingham.” Bruce will not, however, be taking charge of Palace’s team at the weekend.

Friday 2 The Bishop of Oxford blesses the pitch at Oxford United’s supposedly unlucky new ground. “There was talk among some players of a sense of evil – they interpreted it as a curse,” says a church spokesman.

Read more…

Australia missed out on the World Cup finals yet again. Matthew Hall watched them succumb to mild paranoia – and a better team – in Montevideo

Three strikes and you’re out, and a triple lash from Uruguay in Montevideo was enough to send Aus­tralia crashing out of the World Cup without qualifying for the finals for the seventh time in succession. The first and last time the Socceroos made it to the finals was in 1974. On the past five occasions Australia have been eliminated in sudden death play-offs, ag­ainst Scotland, Israel, Argentina, Iran and now Uru­guay. Con­spiracy theories, administrative blun­ders, plain bad luck and the comeback of Diego Mara­dona have all contributed to past failures.

Read more…

Desperate Australian clubs are once again queuing up to employ faded British strikers. Matthew Hall explains why

It can no longer be ignored. Relations between Britain and Australia have sunk to a new low and it’s nothing to do with trade wars or our flawed bid to become a republic. It is, however, all to do with current rates of exchange. It goes a little like this: we send you Nick Cave, saucy soap starlets and Harry Kewell. What do we get in return? Hale and Pace, backpackers by the planeload, and Ian bleedin’ Rush.

Read more…

Monday 3 “Man Utd will be laughing in Brazil,” says David O’Leary as Gareth Southgate scores the Villa goals that beat Leeds 2-1 at Elland Road, while Arsenal are held to a draw at Sheffield Wed and Sunderland lose 1-0 at Wimbledon, where the officials fail to spot Nicky Summerbee being elbowed in the face by Ben Thatcher in the build-up to the game’s only goal. Branko Strupar, the Belgian Croat, scores the first Premiership goal of the 21st century and adds a second as Derby sink Watford deeper into trouble. Southampton move three points clear of third-bottom Bradford after beating them 1-0. The Nigerian FA will demand that Arsenal be dismissed from this season’s FA Cup if they refuse to let Kanu join his country’s African Nations Cup squad until after next weekend’s tie with Leicester.

Read more…