Tuesday 1 Drama to the last in Sheffield United’s FA Cup fifth-round replay with Arsenal, settled by Manuel Almunia making two saves in a shoot-out after a 0‑0 draw. “An average Premiership side would have lost but Sheffield were electric for 120 minutes,” say Arsène. Brentford take a fourth-minute lead against Southampton, but lose 3‑1. Blackburn beat Burnley 2‑1 with a late goal from Morten Gamst Pedersen. Roy Keane is cleared of charges of assault over an incident near his home last year. Jermaine Pennant, however, is jailed for three months for drunk-driving while banned. “We will give him all the help and support he needs to turn his life around,” says Birmingham chief executive Karren Brady – paying him £3,000 a week might seem like help enough.
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Stories
The scuffle at St James' Park was anything but savoury, but let's not get carried away
If you look outside for a moment, it’s likely that the streets will be awash with children scrapping with each other in imitation of the fight broadcast from St James’ Park on April 2. Some will be pretending to be Lee Bowyer or Kieron Dyer, others will have been assigned the roles of peacekeeper Gareth Barry and bystander Lee Hendrie. Who knows where it may lead? When will footballers realise that they are role models whose every action, however stupid, will likely be mirrored by impressionable youngsters?
Wednesday 1 Middlesbrough insist that Steve McClaren is not in the frame for the Newcastle job. Bolton likewise say Sam Allardyce is staying put. “Sam is committed to rewriting the history of this club,” says chairman Phil Gartside. Clive Woodward, who is about to step down as England rugby coach, may be offered a role at Southampton, waving a clipboard and shouting.
Friday 3 Terry Venables is believed to be having talks with Newcastle (keep the receipts, Freddie). “That was real Scottish football,” says beleaguered Berti as his side secure a moral victory in Spain, their friendly being abandoned at 1-1 due to floodlight failure, torrential rain and a plague of boils.
Friday 1 Manchester United are fined £1.6 million by the Office of Fair Trading for price-fixing replica shirts. One of the other ten businesses to be charged are… the FA who will have to pay £158,000 for selling overpriced England shirts on the internet in 2000-01. Tangled web-weaver John Fashanu says he has resigned as chairman of Barry Town, though there is some doubt whether he ever really held such a position. Jody Craddock leaves Sunderland for Wolves, who are also to sign Senegalese striker Henri Camara and Spurs’ Steffen Iversen.
Dear WSC
I occasionally wondered what had become of Gerry Harrison (WSC 188), with his penchant for bad grammar and getting players’ names wrong. In the late 1970s and early 1980s we in the Anglia region were often subjected to “Kenny Samson” of Arsenal and Manchester City’s “Ray Ransome”. His treatment of the assault by a dog at Colchester which effectively ended the career of Brentford goalkeeper Chic Brodie (“What a tackle!”) was ill-advised to say the least, and he annoyed my dad, an English teacher, on a weekly basis by his use of the grammatically incorrect “off of”, as in “that’s a corner off of Micky Mills” or “the winger bounces off of Dave Stringer”. With his unfashionable hairstyle (even by Seventies standards) and his improbable choice of apparel, he was a role model for some of the less gifted commentators, such as Roger Tames and Tony Gubba, who were later foisted upon ill-prepared viewers. Cambridge or Southend, whence Anglia games often came when Norwich and Ipswich had got fed up with Gerry, were more or less his mark although contractual obligations presumably meant that ITV had to take him to the World Cup in 1974, where he was limited to commentating on Chile versus Australia, or something similar, during the group stages. My fondest Gerry memory came in 1980, the week after Justin Fashanu announced himself to the football world with his staggering volley against Liverpool. (Gerry would never have aspired to the Beeb’s Barry Davies’s lucid reaction to that goal – “Woah! WOOAAHH!!”). The following Saturday Norwich were at home again, this time against Wolves, who were two up at half-time. It was Gerry’s job to obtain, as the second half started, the thoughts on the state of play of the then Canaries boss John Bond before Bond returned to the dugout. Unfortunately Wolves scored their third (in a 4-0 eventual victory) within about ten seconds of the restart, with Gerry indelicately blurting out something along the lines of: “Well, you’re really up against it now, John… John… John?” The elegantly-coiffured and besuited Bond (if anything the antithesis of Gerry) had, as they say, taken his leave.
Alun Thomas, via email