Dan McCauley is not the most popular man in Devon, as David Pay explains
Distinguishing features Slobodan Milosevic lookalike from north Devon. Has also been chairman of Tiverton Town and on the board of Exeter City. According to the Times list of wealthy people, he has a fortune larger than the chairmen of Arsenal, Aston Villa and Chelsea. He is Fat Dan, aka the Fat Controller.
Saturday 1 Man Utd go top again after beating Villa 2-1, while Chelsea win 3-1 against Everton, who still need a point to avoid the drop. Southampton move out of the bottom three for the first time this season by beating Leicester 2-1. "We've got our heads above water and now we have to stay there," says winning goal scorer James Beattie. Charlton and Blackburn share a goalless draw at The Valley though the latter are refused what appears to be a clear penalty for a foul on Ashley Ward, who has to be restrained from attacking referee Gary Willard at the final whistle. Rob Harris, in charge (after a fashion) of West Ham's game with Leeds, also comes close to being thumped after dimissing Ian Wright with just 15 minutes gone. West Ham have another two sent off in a 5-1 defeat. "We were tremendous while we still had ten men," says a seething Harry Redknapp. "I thought the referee had a good game," says David O'Leary. Bradford's promotion hopes are knocked back by a home draw with Oxford United, while Bristol City are down after losing at Sheffield United. Walsall are promoted from the Second Division. Brentford join Cambridge and Cardiff in going up from the Third, while Scarborough still have a chance of avoiding the drop after an away win at Halifax. Celtic confirm that Kenny Dalglish is to rejoin them as "technical director" in the summer.
Saturday 2 "I hope it's not too late," says Colin Todd as Bolton move out of the bottom three with a 5-2 home win over Palace, managed for the day by Ron Noades, who may become Brentford's new owner next week. Barnsley are down after a 1-0 defeat at Leicester – "The first half of the season was a steep learning curve for us," says Danny Wilson. Spurs are almost safe after thrashing Wimbledon 6-2 at Selhurst Park with J®πrgen Klinsmann getting four. Newcastle are in the clear after a 3-1 win over Chelsea, though the FA are likely to charge Alan Shearer with misconduct over the Neil Lennon incident. In the Second Division, Watford are champions after a 2-1 win at Fulham, who just squeak into the play-offs . At the other end, Brentford drop down to the bottom division for the first time in 20 years after losing at Bristol Rovers, Burnley stay up through beating Plymouth 2-1. In the Third, Lincoln take the third automatic promotion place after beating Brighton while Torquay lose at Leyton Orient. In Scotland, Rangers cock up again, losing at home 1-0 to Kilmarnock.
Sunday 3 Arsenal are champions after beating Everton 4-0 at Highbury. "I thought I had to keep my emotions until now in case we did not win the title," says Arsene. And you thought he was just shy. Everton now need to beat Coventry next week and hope that Bolton don't win against a probably under-strength Chelsea at Stamford Bridge. Man City go down to the Second Division, despite winning 5-2 at Stoke, who are also relegated. Middlesbrough are back in the Premiership. Celtic miss a chance to wrap up the Scottish title, conceding a late equaliser at Dunfermline. Justin Fashanu is found dead seemingly having committed suicide.