East Stirling have a new investor who is hoping to transform their forutnes after six consecutive seasons at the bottom of the Scottish league. Neil Forsyth reports
It would be expected that the recent travails of Gretna, in administration and facing daily reports predicting their imminent demise, should stand as stark warning against investment in Scotland’s minor clubs. Recent developments at the country’s worst professional football team, however, would suggest that hope springs eternal.
Ten years ago Terry Christie led a club with a century of underachievement behind them to a perfect day in Perth, beating Dundee United to delight Scott Harvie
“Remember, remember the fifth of November, Armstrong, Haddow and Sprott.” While this version of the traditional rhyme may not have much meaning outside Ochilview Park, many Stenhousemuir fans would want to rewind repeat Guy Fawkes Day 1995 as their version of Groundhog Day. Until then Stenny had recorded 111 years of footballing existence without a national trophy to their name. Given their decline so far in the 21st century, you can safely speculate that even the youngest babe in arms at Ochilview won’t be around to celebrate their next such success.
Thanks to a financial incentive scheme from Littlewoods Pools, things could be looking up for Scotland's perennial losers, East Stirlingshire. Neil White explains
For the past two years, the safest bet in British football has not been on Arsenal or Martin O’Neill’s dominant Celtic side. The smart money, if you have enough of it to counter increasingly prohibitive odds, is on whoever happens to be playing East Stirlingshire.
From the Stade Louis II to Alloa and Queen of the South in three years, St Johnstone fan Gary Panton charts his club's sharp demise
Why did the team collapse so emphatically last season?
Sandy Clark’s inability to find suitable replacements for the players that achieved third place in the SPL, a League Cup final and a UEFA Cup run earned him the sack back in October. His replacement Billy Stark – whose perennially folded arms and monotone drawl must make him one of the least animated managers in Scottish football history – struggled to prove he could do much better.
Ian Plenderleith looks at a site celebrating fooball's strange expressions, and has a trawl around Scotland
Kudos is due to the website Danger Here for its documenting of great moments in football language, including nonsensical and little-known quotes from the back catalogues of Kevin Keegan, Glenn Hoddle and the Irish commentator George Hamilton, who merits his own section. His garbled metaphor comparing the Real Madrid defence to a rabbit is too long to reproduce here, but well worth logging on for alone, although my own favourite was: “The midfield are like a chef… trying to prise open a stubborn oyster to get at the fleshy meat inside.”