Dragoje Lekovic left Kilmarnock abruptly, leading Graeme Jamieson to rue the small print in players' contracts
Run for the hills! There’s a dangerous new animal out there – The Smart Footballer. This post-Bosman beast preys on unsuspecting clubs, wooing them into his bed by negotiating trendy new contracts before striking them down with a killer sub-clause and fleeing into the night, crisp tenners stuffed into breast pocket.
Tuesday 2 West Brom drop down to fourth in Division One after losing 1-0 at home to (gasp) Man City while Sheffield Utd move above them following a 3-2 over Stoke. In Division Three a League record is equalled at Wigan where Bristol Rovers have four players sent off, together with one from the home side. Three go after a mass brawl triggered by the first dismissal, of Rovers defender David Pritchard. "It was atrocious, abysmal and an absolute disgrace," says Rovers manager Ian Holloway, talking of the refereeing rather than the fighting. Doncaster get their first win of the season, 2-1 v Chester, to take them to within six points of Brighton.
Wednesday 3 West Ham beat Crystal Palace 4-1 in a restaging of the match abandoned due to floodlight failure last month. The game is watched by officials from Juventus said to be considering investing in Palace for reasons that remain obscure, possibly some form of collective madness.
Thursday 4 So-so World Cup draw for England who'll be playing Tunisia, Romania and Colombia, harder for Scotland, up against Brazil in the opening match of the tournament (traditionally a low-scoring game, though) then Norway and Morocco. Ray Harford resigns as manager of West Brom as a prelude to taking up the QPR job, saying "At times there were problems with the travelling. A chance came that was going to be better geographically." Did he fly home from Blackburn every day then?.
Saturday 1 Steve Coppell is back as Palace manager. "I've been around here on and off for quite some time," he says, while Ron Noades reopens an old, unresolved mystery: "I don't think his leaving Maine Road was to do with ill health. I think that's something Man City put out." "If we do not receive an apology Mr Noades will reap the consequences of what he said," replies a City spokesman.
Sunday 2 Man Utd take a four-point lead at the top after a 3-1 win over a vaudeville troop from Coventry, who chip in with two own goals in the first five minutes. A Shearer-less Newcastle are beaten at home by Matt Le Tissier's goal for Southampton, but Arsenal keep their Champs and Runners-Up League hopes alive by winning at Everton, back on the slide again. West Ham and Middlesbrough tighten their hold on the bottom two places, following defeats at Leeds and Sheffield Wednesday. Meanwhile, Irving Scholar's Nottm Forest boost their survival hopes by beating Spurs 1-0 at White Hart Lane. "We are slipping into a bad area," says Gerry Francis, as though he'd never been 13th before.
Tuesday 4 The Grobbelgaate (copyright WSC) match fixing trial finishes with the jury being discharged after failing to reach a verdict. The Crown Prosecution Service will press for a re-trial. "Maybe we should decide this on penalties," says Bruce, in a clown-prince-of-soccer sort of way. Newcastle, unrecognizable with four forwards missing and Robert Lee up front, lose 1-0 at home to Monaco in their UEFA Cup Quarter Final first leg. Still, at least they won't be facing an intimidating crowd in the return.
Wednesday 5 Man Utd, with Ryan Giggs outstanding, put in one of their best home displays in Europe beating Porto 4-0 in the first leg of their Champions League Quarter Final. "I would have been happy with 1-0 if we kept Porto at bay but 4-0 is just fantastic," says Alex Ferguson looking as close to cherubic as he'll ever get. Earlier in the day Alex confirmed that he would not be allowing Man Utd players to take part in England's Summer tournament in France which begins three days after the World Cup tie in Poland. Liverpool and Newcastle are expected to follow suit. Looks like a Spurs XI, then. Mike °ÆMr Controversy' Reed is taken off the Chelsea v Leicester League match which he was due to referee next week, "after careful consideration of the factors involved," according to a League spokesman, although neither club objected to Reed being in charge.
Thursday 1 The US win the women's football tournament at the Olympics, beating China… Patrik Berger finally signs for Liverpool after weeks of negotiations, the sticking point being whether he would be contractually obliged to go nightclubbing with Robbie 'n' Jamie 'n' Macca every Saturday. Terry Venables declines an offer to become joint owner of Portsmouth, saying that the club will need to clear their debts before he is prepared to get involved. There's a joke in there somewhere.
Friday 2 Blackburn deny that they are about to spend a hefty wedge of the Shearer money on Ajax's Patrick Kluivert. So a deal must be imminent. Celtic are fined £42,000 for dealing with an unlicensed agent, Bruce Rioch's brother, Neil, when buying Alan Stubbs from Bolton, and Stubbs is also fined. Hove Council vote against Brighton's plans to build a new stadium and shopping complex at, ahem, Toad's Hole Valley. Brighton chairman Bill Archer says that a groundshare with Portsmouth now seems likely for 1997-98 (assuming, of course that Portsmouth are still in existence).
Saturday 3 Nigeria become the first African team to win an Olympic gold, beating Argentina 3-2 with a goal from Emmanuel Amunike in the last minute. Brazil have to make do with the bronze after a 5-0 win over Portugal.
Tuesday 7 Barry Fry is sacked as manager of Birmingham City. "After three years and 61 players we think someone else is entitled to have a go," says the club's owner David Sullivan, adding: "Barry is a very attractive prospect for a club like Notts County or Luton" (who will both now be desperate to draw Birmingham in a cup next season). "I'd like to think I have woken up the sleeping giant," says Barry. The FA will be looking for a new commercial director after Trevor Phillips resigns due to "differences over overall strategy in relation to commercial policy". Hmmm.
Wednesday 8 It's getting murky. Trevor Phillips' resignation is being linked to police investigations into the sale of Euro '96 tickets to unlicensed agencies, many of which were raided last week by police who made eighteen arrests. The FA had authorised corporate packages to be sold through two companies but Phillips seems to have encouraged others to apply. As many as 50,000 tickets may be involved. lvano Bonetti is to sue Grimsby manager Brian Laws over the dressing room fight that led to Bonetti having a steel plate inserted in his face. The FA haven't yet found a date for their inquiry into the incident. Paris St Germain win the Cup Winners' Cup, beating Rapid Vienna 1-0 at the new Heysel Stadium.