Sunday 1 Middlesbrough miss a chance to go third by conceding a last-minute equalizer at home to Forest. Pierre van Hooijdonk doesn't play but Paul Gascoigne does, having discharged himself from the addiction clinic. Paul will still undergo treatment but intends to move in with with his Dad: the latest in a long line of smart moves by the troubled Geordie. Sunderland, the League's only unbeaten team, return to the top of the First Division after a 3-0 win at Bolton.
Tuesday 3 A mixed night in the UEFA Cup (English clubs used to win it, you know). Villa lose 3-1 at home to Celta Vigo to go out 3-2 on aggregate, and Leeds are eliminated too after a goalless draw with Roma at Elland Road. Liverpool go through, however, on away goals after a 2-2 draw in Valencia, though they end the game with nine men after Steve McManaman and Paul Ince (no, really) are sent off in a general fracas towards the end. Celtic are out too, beaten 4-2 in Zürich.
Wednesday 4 In the Champions League, Man Utd thrash Brondby 5-0 and are now looking a good bet to win their group – “the first half was one of the best I’ve seen,” says Alex, hopping from foot to foot. Arsenal, though, drop to the bottom of their section after a 3-1 defeat in Kiev and will need to win both their last two matches to qualify for whatever stage comes next (look it up if you must).