Dear WSC
Why does Andy Gray keep saying “pick the bones out of that”? It’s an expression he’s come to use in every post-match analysis he does on Sky, usually in relation to a slow-motion replay of a goalmouth incident. But it’s become so frequent that it’s almost a verbal tic, as though he doesn’t realise he’s saying it. This suggests a deep-seated trauma. Could it be that he is haunted by an incident when he failed to pick the bones out of a fish, say, and consequently nearly choked while in a packed restaurant? Either that or he’s replying a vivid and unsettling dream. But it could be worse. Imagine the look of alarm on Richard Keys’ face as Andy stares into the middle distance and mutters: “The defence was as exposed as someone standing naked in front of everybody they went to school with, plus their mother and other female members of the family.”
James Potter, via email
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Stories
Dear WSC
In Nigel Harris’s excellent Fools Gold (WSC 241), he mentions that South Wales Police officers are approachable and highly regarded. This got me thinking about when Cardiff City were the visitors to Preston a couple of seasons back. As my friends and I were sat drinking in our usual pre-match pub, a jolly officer from the aforementioned constabulary approached us and informed us that they would be letting a group of Cardiff City “fans” into the pub and that we should drink up and leave or they wouldn’t be responsible for the consequences. The SWP officers then proceeded to welcome these fans into the establishment and chuckled along as they went round taunting everyone else in the bar with racist anti-English insults. Though I agree that no set of supporters should ever be banned from seeing their team, Cardiff City’s cause is not helped when the body employed to control their unruly fans’ behaviour is seen very much to encourage what they do. South Wales Police may be “highly regarded”, but not in Preston.
Bobby Dilworth, via email
Sunday 1 Spurs thrash Villa 5-1 to move into a UEFA Cup spot. “Spurs have pushed on because they’ve made a big investment,” says David O’Leary, loud enough for Doug Ellis to hear. Man Utd’s 4‑0 win at Charlton (“For the last six weeks our defending has been chronic,” sighs Alan Curbishley) puts them a point behind Arsenal. Rangers are two points behind Celtic after a 3‑1 win at Aberdeen.
Some couldn't bear to watch what seemed set to be City's most embarrassing moment, but Ian Farrell was richly rewarded for being too stunned to move
Anyone with a good memory for the cultural atrocities of the past may well be acquainted with Bernard Manning’s low-rent 1970s variety show The Wheeltappers and Shunters Club. Coming across this horror show of hopelessness I was shocked and saddened to see the once-mighty Roy Orbison hit rock bottom with an appearance. If a fan were to claim this as their favourite O moment, they would no doubt have got the sort of looks I receive upon telling non-Blues that the 1999 Division Two play-off final was as good as it got for Manchester City.
Dave Espley describes how quirks of geography and fluctuating fortunes on the field have left Stockport fans struggling to find a long-lasting rivalry of note
Oh, to have a natural rival. You followers of teams which share their town or city with another club don’t know you’re born. Despite a population approaching 300,000, the Stockport public can hardly find it in themselves to support one team, let alone two, with the result that County fans, over the years, have had a number of rivalries, based on various esoteric reasons.