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Search: ' Neil Ruddock'

Stories

No love, no joy

LovejoySquires

Helen Chamberlain’s former sidekick has celebrated leaving Soccer AM for 6.06 with a book. Taylor Parkes wants to know why anyone – anyone – thought it was a good idea to expose the presenter’s ego and prejudices across 288 smugly written pages

Soccer AM is a bad memory: hungover mornings in other people’s flats, disturbed by a crew of whooping simpletons, the slurping of pro and ex-pro rectums, cobbled-together comedy that made me long for the glory days of Skinner and Baddiel’s old shit. Yet Tim Lovejoy himself, with his fashionably receding hair and voice oddly reminiscent of Rod Hull’s, I remember only as an averagely blokey TV presenter – in fact, one of the few averagely blokey TV presenters to make me clack my tongue in irritation, rather than buff my Gurkha knife. Other than as a namesake of The Simpsons’ self-serving man of the cloth, he barely registered; just a bland, blond ringmaster in a cocky circus of crap. Almost a surprise, then, to find that his new book is not just ­tedious in the extreme, it is utterly vile.

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Stage fright

Al Needham  couldn’t quite believe just how poor John Barnes is working in television – and was even more shocked when he started thinking about all the competition and realised that Emlyn Hughes was quite good

He dealt with intense media scrutiny ever since the start of his playing career. He went on to become one of the most important players in the country. He played a major part in England’s 1990 World Cup cam­paign. He’s dabbled in TV adverts. As soon as he re­tired, he was snapped up as a pundit and before too long became a presenter on a terrestrial channel. So why is John Barnes so toe-curlingly bad at his new job?

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Welcome mats

Ian Plenderleith discovers a Swede with an addiction to Slough Town, what Colin Addison's main failing as a manager was, and where the Jail End can be found

How far would you travel to watch Slough Town? It’s one of those questions consistently posed in philosophical and political de­bating salons across the nation. In the case of Mats Tallqvist, leader of the Slough fan group the Swedish Rebels, the answer is “all the way from Halmstad”, and with great regularity, jud­ging by the diary accounts on his Unofficial Slough Town Web Page.

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August 2001

Wednesday 1 Villa and Newcastle are both through to their respective “finals” in the Intertoto. John Gregory seems underwhelmed by his side’s away goals win over Rennes: “If we’ve got to play in the competition then qualifying for the UEFA Cup is what it’s all about.” Barry Town beat Porto 3-1 in the second leg of their Champions League tie. The Football League deny reports that Celtic and Rangers may be invited into this season’s Worthington Cup, although League chairman Keith Harris hopes to see them included next year: “They would help spice up the competition for our sponsors and improve its appeal to the television audience.” Celtic’s 4-3 win at Old Trafford in Ryan Giggs’s testimonial is enlivened by several near-fights, most featuring David Beckham. Dutch goalkeeper Edwin van der Sar is the subject of the first-ever transfer deal between Fulham and Juventus, moving for £7 million. Portsmouth sign 1998 World Cup star Robert Prosinecki from Dinamo Zagreb.

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Letters, WSC 168

Dear WSC
Matt Nation’s defence of the long ball game (Myths, WSC 167) was a welcome read for someone like me who went to Wimbledon regularly in the Eighties and saw contempt spat at the club from all directions for the no frills style of play that apparently invalidated everything we had achieved. Long ball football, admittedly, can be boring, but only if it doesn’t work. And for Wimbledon in the Eighties it did work – like a dream. In fact the Dons were the League’s top scorers in each of their first two seasons of hoofing it (1982-83 and 1983-84) with 96 and 97 League goals respectively, topping the hundred mark in all competitions.We were also, not surprisingly, promoted in both as well (as champions with 98 points in the former) and again in 1985-86. By September 1986 – less than four years after losing 4-2 at home to Halifax in a Fourth Division match – we were top of the whole League (albeit only for 11 days). In all the excitement I don’t think I even noticed that we were a “boring long ball side” until the media and our disgruntled victims started bleating about it.
Brian Matthews, Sutton

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