Dear WSC
After “sick as a parrot” and “early doors”, it seem we must now brace ourselves as another football cliche takes root. Apparently, no one in the game can now refer to the patently obvious without reach- ing for a little spurious gravitas by des- cribing it as “well documented”. In case it is not yet well documented just how irritating this affectation has become, I thought I’d get the ball rolling.
Jeffrey Prest, via email
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Stories
Thursday 1 The FA is fined £70,000 for the pitch invasion and racist abuse at last month’s Euro 2004 qualifier with Turkey. UEFA also criticises David Beckham for his “provocative” goal celebration. England’s next match, against Slovakia, will not be played behind closed doors, however. Acting joint chief executive David Davies promises action: “We need to take this decision and use it to our benefit. There are people who have shamed this country, we all know that.” UEFA will also be sending a bill to Sir Alex, who’s fined £4,500 for claiming the Champions League draw was fixed. In the Conference play-offs, Dagenham beat Morecambe 2-1 and Doncaster draw 1-1 at Chester. Thierry Henry is named Footballer of the Year to add to the PFA award he won last week.
Dear WSC
How’s this for a delicious sense of irony? Brentford v Colchester United, Tuesday February 18, 2003. 1) On a freezing cold night when almost everyone wishes they’d stayed indoors, the Bees put in a dreadful first-half display and are roundly booed off the pitch. 2) In an effort to placate the home fans, Brentford decide to play the D:Ream hit Things Can Only Get Better over the tannoy. 3) Immediately the song finishes, the club announces the match has been abandoned at half time. If only the Bees’ strike force was as good as their comic timing.
Eddie Hutchinson, Ashford
With ground criteria set too high for Falkirk and rivals Inverness, the Scottish First Division champions could be going nowhere this summer, reports Neil White
As soon as the Scottish Cup third-round draw handed Hearts a trip to Falkirk’s dilapidated Brockville Park, the tie was flagged up as a possible shock. The Edinburgh side sat third in the Scottish Premier League, but this was their first game back after the winter break. Falkirk were leading the First Division and in fine form. More importantly, the tie was at Brockville, the symbol of their ongoing struggle against the footballing elite.
Monday 1 Airdrie United acquire the rights to Clydebank’s name and seem set to replace them in the Scottish Second Division. “If this takeover goes ahead, a franchise system for Scottish football will have been validated,” says a spokesman for the Clydebank supporters group, who had been hoping to take control of the club themselves. Mick Wadsworth, who left Oldham during last season, is Huddersfield’s new manager.