A small portion of despair and enlightenment delivered to your inbox every Friday

14 October 2016 ~

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So, after all the clamour to drop Wayne Rooney, England went on to grind out a 0-0 draw in Slovenia without him in the starting lineup. It's almost as if the problems go deeper than one player.  

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SecuritySystems150Badge of the week ~ Security Systems XI, Botswana 
What you see here is not an original idea but a compromise. The first idea was a man in a prison cell, clutching the bars and screaming, with the logo Do Not Loiter In Retail Parks. The image was thought to have a high impact but the logo seemed, to the club, to be a little bit off the mark. The next suggestion, a CCTV camera trained on an inner-city car park, was felt to have very high relevance, but less immediate impact. Focus groups shown this draft gave feedback to the effect that it lacked a sense of joy. 

The third idea, the last to be rejected, was an image of a security guard rampant, holding his utility kit tactical belt stretched above his head in triumph. At his feet is the crumpled figure of a youth with an aerosol can close to his twitching hand. The motto here was to be Can I Help You? Finally, with the deadline date approaching, the club went for a much cheaper option: the team's initials with a football, just two colours. The club motto, All Systems Go, was selected by a mongoose with a pool cue. Cameron Carter

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Tony Yeboah's brother is happy to work anonymously.

YeboahBrother600

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Jordan Henderson needs to work on his "no look" passing.

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AFC Wimbledon move above MK Dons for the first time.

WimbledonTable600

Meanwhile Norwich United only got promoted to the Isthmian League this season but they've made quick progress.

NorwichUtd600

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from Sarah Choonara
"FA to introduce rulebook for walking football. But if there was a Walking World Cup, would we qualify?"

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Also in the news this week
Christian Benteke scores the fastest goal in a World Cup qualifier
El Clásico not live in UK
Norwich keepers' training goes viral
Diego Maradona and Juan Sebastián Verón clash at "peace" match

 

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