A small portion of despair and enlightenment delivered to your inbox every Friday

12 August 2016 ~

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Charlton Athletic have told a fan that they won't receive their season ticket before they meet the club's safety officer and sign an "Agreed Behaviour Contract" promising they won't say post any deregatory comments about the Addicks on social media. It's lucky people who run clubs like this aren't appointed to positions of power within the FA Council. Oh wait...

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Japan150Badge of the week ~ Japan
It is a Japanese football saying: "Look after the ball like it is an egg." Another Japanese football saying is "Can we not knock it?", because Graham Taylor is much admired in Japanese football circles and his England team were considered high achievers considering that he was apparently forced to include Andy Sinton and Keith Curle in his squad.

For this reason, you will often see Japanese dads on the touchline at youth games, bawling this at their sons to nods of approval from bystanders.  It is also thought in Japan that Phil Neal is a man of great wisdom, able to make no comment in the face of national disaster, when more foolish men would have filled the space with words.

In the image, a large black bird keeps watch over a football with maternal pride; it is almost certainly not a hoopoe. Against Iceland, the English players did not look after the ball like it was an egg, you will have noticed, they looked after it like it was a used match. Cameron Carter

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Pogba Watch
1. High excitement on Manchester Airport's Twitter account. 

ManAir600

2. He's made a video.
"To celebrate Paul Pogba - one of the world's most exciting footballers - completing his world record transfer to Manchester United, adidas has released a music video of the player showcasing his famous swagger as he dances to a track by UK Grime artist, Stormzy."

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Meanwhile, Manchester City announce their signing of John Stones, via uefa.com.

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Marvellous news: West Ham get their first Destination Partner.

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Wolves turn to fantasy for their programme covers.

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We’re a week late on this but it’s still worth a mention: FA Cup tie rearranged due to scarecrow festival.

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A photo of Spiderman watching Nelson FC goes viral.

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Also in the news this week
Spanish clubs to be fined if their crowds aren’t big enough
Arsenal fans mock transfer dealings, again
Southampton away tickets capped at £20

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