A small portion of despair and enlightenment delivered to your inbox every Friday

15 July 2016 ~

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Ever since the opening of the national training centre at St George's Park the FA have been talking about creating the "England DNA" playing style. They will have found it if Sam Allardyce is appointed as England manager.

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Alianza150Badge of the week ~ Alianza Atlético, Peru
In olden days Peru the country was terrorised by dishevelled stilt birds that waded around the land eating crops and staring dogs out. One year, the new mayor in Alianza’s home town was elected on a law and order ticket which specifically referenced the vanquishing forever of the stilt birds, as well as a major clampdown on Peeping Toms which included a bill to establish a minimum distance for watching your victim from (previously, with no legislation in place, some Peeping Toms in the area had been emboldened to watch an individual from as little as two feet away).

After sobering up from the election after-party, the new mayor realised he would have to deliver on his stilt bird promise and immediately built a gym in the basement of the town hall. Here, he worked out every spare hour he had until he became the strongest man in the region. Finally, as he emerged from the basement, all the stilt birds flew up in alarm at his muscular physique and obvious core strength. That evening they flew en masse to Brazil where the mayors were, by repute, not so ripped. Alianza Atlético commemorate the mayor in their crest, not for seeing off the stilt bird menace, but for keeping an election promise and just looking good. Cameron Carter

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from Graeme Hall
“It seems that Newcastle were gazumped in their attempts to sign Atlético Madrid full-back Jesús Gámez.”

Duarte500

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New Jersey may be getting a football ground on top of a convention centre – “the site of legendary performances by The Clash, Johnny Cash, Led Zeppelin, James Brown and American Idol's Ruben Studdard”.

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Someone at Sky Sports is not focused on the job at hand.

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EFL Trophy plans “in limbo”.

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A great explanation of how doubling works, at the new look Aston Villa.

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Also in the news this week
Celtic beaten in Gibraltar
Stan Collymore and Colin Murray quit Talksport
Some sound advice for West Ham’s new signing Antonio Martinez

 

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