A small portion of despair and enlightenment delivered to your inbox every Friday
17 June 2016 ~
One thing Roy Hodgson needs to pay attention to over the next few days is England's fitness levels. The players weren't nearly quick enough to engulf Daniel Sturridge before he started doing his irritating dance.
Badge of the week ~ Druk United, Bhutan
Countless clubs have lions, tigers or serpents included in their motif, but who among us is really intimidated by a picture of a tiger anymore? The last time I was intimidated by a picture of a tiger was about four years ago and I was going through a bit of a bad patch at the time, breakfasting on strong lager and believing that Chat magazine was written specifically for me. But the creature on Druk United’s badge is truly terrifying. It is possible that the club’s source for the image is HP Lovecraft’s The Horror From The Vault, which features this description in a scrawled note found by the main protagonist:
“I, who can never return, have witnessed in these very caves a blasphemous sight which my mortal mind could not suffer to hold. What I beheld here was a sickened, gibbering shadow with eyes that were not eyes and hands that were not hands, but which were definitely not eyes. Its eldritch form progressed dreamily towards me until I knew no more. And now I have forgotten everything, especially all my passwords. Leave now, I beseech you – what dwells here is an unimaginable horror – I can only say it is worse than a man playing jazz on the recorder from memory. But my mind is wandering… [the rest of the text is illegible or incoherent, accompanied by some hurried drawings of mice in kilts].”
If Druk United were hoping to inspire fear in the heart of their opponents with their iconography, they’ve made a very reasonable attempt. Cameron Carter
As you may know, most football poems are terrible. Not this one though. (via @freelance_liar)
Plenty of time to fix your hair during a match, thinks Ozan Tufan. It’s not like the opposition will score just now. Ah.
from Carl Jones
“The Wiki page of Albania’s Taulant Xhaka features what may the winning entry in an art competition.”
ITV pundit Lothar Matthäus is always holding things.
A Daily Mail reporter is following all the big stories in France.
Also in the news this week
Joachim Löw’s scratch and sniff addiction
Icelandic commentator in ecstasy
Manchester United players continue to flog product
St Pauli use random man in a mask as stand-in for their manager to unveil new signing