A small portion of despair and enlightenment delivered to your inbox every Friday

18 December 2015 ~ 

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There is already much speculation about José Mourinho's successor. It would be nice to return to the days when Chelsea fans genuinely believed that Neil Warnock could "do a job" for them. Those times seem unlikely to come back, but fingers crossed anyway

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Arouca150Badge of the week ~ FC Arouca, Portugal
In the early days of Christianity in Europe (I forget the exact kind of time, but it was definitely before people started colour-coding data), one of the pioneering emissaries of the new religion in Portugal was an ex-wardrobe manufacturer named Miguel. Previous to exposure to The Word, Miguel had been quite an unpopular wardrobe-maker, demanding payment by ten days and occasionally secreting a bit of graffiti – for example "Manuel di Campo is a ponce" surreptitiously carved into the side strut of a drop-leaf table – on the product of a late payer. 

After his conversion, Miguel started being so uncharacteristically nice and also relaxed about payments that the authorities became suspicious and he was quickly identified as an enemy of the state. Miguel was forced to flee and crossed the river in a jolly boat at night, carefully camouflaged with leaves and branches to look like a floating tree or something. Unfortunately, he also took with him the eight-foot wooden crucifix he had made himself, for protection, and this was spotted by an alert member of the militia on river duty. 

Miguel was subsequently martyred on his own cross and later became St Miguel, patron saint of ill-advised hand luggage. He is commemorated on FC Arouca’s badge for his courage and as a warning to over-packers. Cameron Carter

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Not the most exciting segment Sky Sports News have ever come up with.

Curbishley500

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from Phil Ball
“I'm not sure who Whitehawk’s main rivals are, but the Wikipedia author would appear to be one of them.”

Whitehawk500

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from Phil Town

Paulo Futre is starring in an advert for Libidium, which ‘increases sexual performance and stimulates the libido’. The 'motor' is ... well you probably get the idea.”

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It’s possible that Northampton won’t score a better free-kick this season.

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Also in the news this week
Liverpool celebrate home draw with West Brom
Chelsea lower their sights
Full body nutmeg at Trabzonspor

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The Howl is now going on a Christmas break, it will be back in the new year.

 

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