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13 March 2015 ~

The pugnacious Jeremy Clarkson tried to escape media attention over his suspension by the BBC by going to watch his team, Chelsea. Hopefully he enjoyed it as much as most of us did.

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Gateshead1501Badge of the week ~ Gateshead FC
Gateshead was, for a large part of the 19th and 20th centuries, the world’s capital of slapstick humour. The very first report of a small man and a large man attempting to put on each other’s hats at a milk bar hatstand appeared in a local newspaper in 1855 and the town’s reputation was all but sealed when its mayor sprang from a car to greet Prime Minister Herbert Asquith, only for his braces to rip on a door handle, exposing comically conservative underwear.

What really put Gateshead on the map, however, was the pioneering music hall performer, Jimmy Mulherney ("Big smile, small hands") who came out on stage at The Pavilion one night with a tall ladder. No one had ever seen construction hardware in a music hall turn before and Mulherney paced the footlights to gasps and consternation (two women fainted, it is said).

Mulherney was losing the audience until he suddenly swung round to answer an urgent query from the theatre’s manager who had stepped onstage from the wings in his alarm. The end of the ladder caught the manager square in the chops, dropping him to the floor on the seat of his pants. An alert percussionist in the pit spontaneously added a drum and cymbal flourish and a star was born. Gateshead FC honour this very moment in their club crest, illustrating the world’s comic debt to their crazy town. Cameron Carter

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The latest venture from the “Class of 92”. Do they have an emergency exit named after David Moyes?

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Look out Alton Towers, the Steve Gerrard Soccer Sculpture Park may steal your customers.

StevieStatue400

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from Jon Matthias

“That’s a very Eastern looking Welsh dragon on Cardiff City’s crest, accompanied by a load of blurb about it.”

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Southampton players try ice hockey – and need to work on their technique.

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Also in the news this week
John Terry marks Gary Cahill
Supersub manager
BBC reporter runs the line
Villa dubious headwear man goes viral

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