A small portion of despair and enlightenment delivered to your inbox every Friday
23 January 2015 ~

Some figures from the Deloitte Football Rich List released this week. Number of Premier League clubs reporting record revenues in 2013-14: Twenty. Number of clubs to have reduced their season ticket prices: One, Sunderland. Number of regular fans surprised by this: Zero.

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Saint-Pauloise150-1Badge of the week ~ Saint Pauloise, Réunion
Legend tells that the islands of the Indian Ocean were once full of griffins – you couldn’t move for them, although they weren’t really any trouble. There is a parallel here with today’s singer-songwriters. The griffin on the island of Réunion was a particularly narky one, however, and would harangue travellers it encountered with rhetorical questions (“Shall I come and tramp around near your home shall I?”, “Are you old enough to be hunting giants?”), for no apparent reason. No one could understand its motivation and children were told to keep away from the griffin’s lair.

One day a celebrated surgeon strayed close to the griffin’s lair – a surgeon, an educated man, poncing around by a lair – and was surprised by the griffin, who verbally abused him. The surgeon, though, noted from his antagonist’s posture that it probably had digestive problems. Upon enquiring on the matter during a pause in the griffin’s foul-mouthed invective, the surgeon was informed that yes, the griffin had been having a spot of bother in that area as a matter of fact.

Subsequent tests found that the fabulous creature had swallowed an anchor without realising it (they feed in the dark) and six hours of surgery in the Enchanted Forest Hospital was enough to favourably change the griffin’s demeanour forever. For the club, the anchor-swallowing griffin symbolises stoicism and competitiveness in the most straitened of circumstances. Cameron Carter

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Macclesfield’s goal of the season award is wrapped up in January.

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A bootleg WSC shirt in Tahrir Square? Could be.

Tahir400

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from Brian Spurrell
Cornish legends can come in useful when you’re writing an FA Vase match report.”

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from Phil Town
“A South-Korean class learn some Benfica chants from their Luso-Canadian teacher.”

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Also in the news this week
Iranian players’ selife warning
A warm-up match turns nasty in Argentina

Three brothers score for the same team
A girl called YNWA

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